Tae’s Burden!

{"messages":[{"id":478277220,"character_id":0,"type":1,"content":"Taekook currently is standing among multitudes of people who have gathered to bid their last goodbyes to Jung Min Ari.."},{"id":478277221,"character_id":0,"type":1,"content":"Itu2019s raining heavily.. and people are taking shelter under their respective umbrellas.. Gukk clenches on to Taeu2019s arm tightly as he stands among sad and crying faces.. Gukku2019s heart drops watching the jungs being so devastated.. no matter how much Gukk was angry with Min Ari but he never meant for jungs to suffer like this.."},{"id":478277222,"character_id":0,"type":1,"content":"On the other hand, Tae stood among people with a blank expression.. he was neither sad, emphatic or had slightest relief that Min Ari died.. He watched Hoseok and his Boem appa and eun eomma tearing up before their family and friends.. but he felt no emotions.."},{"id":478277223,"character_id":0,"type":1,"content":"He remembers it was very early morning when the news spread of Min Ari dying like a wind in Euphoria.. Tae was told about this from jimin.. even though he has no feelings for Min Ari, yet for the sake of the respect he gives to Jung he is here right now.. paying his condolences.."},{"id":478277224,"character_id":0,"type":1,"content":"After sometime.. one by one everyone started to walk out of the graveyard.. they soon were about to gather late evening at the Jung house and bring some refreshments along with their warmth with them for the family who lost their daughter.."},{"id":478277225,"character_id":0,"type":1,"content":"Taekook also joined and other Kim members arrived separately"},{"id":478277226,"character_id":0,"type":1,"content":"Taekook wore all plain black and grey outfit.. as they talk to the jungs.. Gukk and Jimin were with Jackson and eun.. while Tae and yoongi stood beside Hoseok.. the brothers walked away from the mourning people and gathered in the backyard with some booze and cigars.."},{"id":478277227,"character_id":0,"type":3,"image_path":"contribute/fiction/1608921/chatstory/10037299/1612618496.png","image_width":554,"image_height":554},{"id":478277228,"character_id":0,"type":1,"content":"There was an awkward silence between Hoseok and Tae.. yoongi was trying to think of ways to make them talk.. they kept staring the night sky which was glistening surprisingly brighter and beautiful.."},{"id":478277229,"character_id":0,"type":1,"content":"Hoseok spoke first.."},{"id":478277230,"character_id":7111901,"type":2,"content":"Have you ever felt guilty that deep down it all happened because of you.. the love for you.. (says with a bitter tone)"},{"id":478277231,"character_id":7111901,"type":2,"content":"I mean.. if you look closely.. she did love you and died because of you.. everything was for you (looks firmly at Tae with a tint of hatred and overwhelming sadness)"},{"id":478277232,"character_id":7111899,"type":2,"content":"Hoseok you shouldnu2019t say things that you donu2019t mean.."},{"id":478277233,"character_id":7111899,"type":2,"content":"I understand you are in pain right now.. but none of these were Taeu2019s fault.. you know it much better"},{"id":478277234,"character_id":7111901,"type":2,"content":"(Looks at Tae with great intensity and in pain..)"},{"id":478277235,"character_id":7111898,"type":2,"content":"Yes.. I do think about it sometime"},{"id":478277236,"character_id":7111898,"type":2,"content":"But you are wrong at one point.. you said all was for me.. thatu2019s where you are wrong"},{"id":478277237,"character_id":7111898,"type":2,"content":"Because nothing happened as I wanted.."},{"id":478277238,"character_id":7111898,"type":2,"content":"Did you really call her obsession as love.. if all was for me.. then why was I never asked how I am feeling.. why was I never asked of what I want.. why nothing happened as I dreamt.."},{"id":478277239,"character_id":7111898,"type":2,"content":"I understand your pain.. but I canu2019t let you accuse me.. I am not going to cry for something thatu2019s not my fault.."},{"id":478277240,"character_id":0,"type":1,"content":"A new wave of guilt took over Hoseok.. he knows he was wrong.. and hence he hugged Tae immediately.."},{"id":478277241,"character_id":7111901,"type":2,"content":"I am sorry.. I am just deeply sorrowed.. I know itu2019s not your fault.. I just want to shout angrily at her for being so stupid.."},{"id":478277242,"character_id":7111898,"type":2,"content":"I totally understand you.. donu2019t worry.. I take none of these to my heart.."},{"id":478277243,"character_id":7111899,"type":2,"content":"I also want to hug.. (joins the duo in a warm hug)"},{"id":478277244,"character_id":0,"type":1,"content":"Since the conversation with Hoseok.. Tae however has been a little cranky and burdened with a weight that he canu2019t explain in words.."},{"id":478277245,"character_id":0,"type":1,"content":"The man who has stayed strong for his family, has been hiding his true emotions.. He has been holding himself firm, while trying to make Gukk overcome his sadness, guilt and regret..."},{"id":478277246,"character_id":0,"type":1,"content":"But there was no measure to what Tae was feeling.. believe it or not.. Tae has been feeling a lot of emotions which he tried his best to shrug off for the sake of his moon.. But they never left him.."},{"id":478277247,"character_id":0,"type":1,"content":"The burden stayed and Tae remained stubborn to those pain.."},{"id":478277248,"character_id":0,"type":1,"content":"But this has started to effect Taekooku2019s relationship.. not in a negative manner because Gukk has gotten more strong and understanding.. however, Tae has started to show his true emotions.."},{"id":478277249,"character_id":0,"type":1,"content":"I mean.. for how long do you expect to hide what you feel.. for how long can you say you can be strong and get over it.. take note, there is time For everything.. there time to mourn.. there is time for being happy, time for being sad and time to love.. and much more.."},{"id":478277250,"character_id":0,"type":1,"content":"And right now is the time for Tae to be overcoming his heart aches.."},{"id":478277251,"character_id":0,"type":1,"content":"One night... !"},{"id":478277252,"character_id":0,"type":1,"content":"It was apparently past 2 am.."},{"id":478277253,"character_id":0,"type":1,"content":"Gukk was sleeping peacefully and carefree at his bedside in a bubble that his husbandu2019s arms are surrounding him like soft pillows.."},{"id":478277254,"character_id":0,"type":1,"content":"Thatu2019s how Taeu2019s warmth is for Gukk during sleep time.. a soft and safe bed, pillow and cushion"},{"id":478277255,"character_id":0,"type":1,"content":"However, tonight.. in his sleep when Gukk shifted and swirled on the bed.. He suddenly frowned with closed eyes when he felt the disappearance of Taeu2019s warmth.."},{"id":478277256,"character_id":0,"type":1,"content":"Gukk turned and started to stroke his right arm on Taeu2019s bedside.."},{"id":478277257,"character_id":0,"type":1,"content":"But it was empty..this made Gukk open his eyes, however, the younger didnu2019t get up from his position.."},{"id":478277258,"character_id":0,"type":1,"content":"Gukk looked at the empty wall before him.. for sometime.. as he just woke up and was missing his husbandu2019s warmth.."},{"id":478277259,"character_id":0,"type":1,"content":"But Gukk snapped when he heard sobs.."},{"id":478277260,"character_id":0,"type":1,"content":"He sat straight in fear.."},{"id":478277261,"character_id":0,"type":1,"content":"Gukk turned his head left and right.."},{"id":478277262,"character_id":0,"type":1,"content":"And soon he was seeing a fragile Tae laying on the hard floor before the bornfire.."},{"id":478277263,"character_id":0,"type":1,"content":"Tae was curled up.. his knees were on his chest and his face was hiding between them.. his shoulders were shaking and his sobs were getting louder slowly and slowly.."},{"id":478277264,"character_id":0,"type":1,"content":"This made Gukku2019s heart break in million pieces.. but Gukk was more alert this time.."},{"id":478277265,"character_id":0,"type":1,"content":"He immediately crawled down the bed and walked closer to Tae.."},{"id":478277266,"character_id":0,"type":1,"content":"Tae looked so delicate that Gukk was even nervous to touch his husband... but the sobs from the elder which was increasing louder made Gukk hold a firm ground and immediately curl up in the same position and hug his sky.."},{"id":478277267,"character_id":0,"type":1,"content":"Taeu2019s sob decreased immediately when he felt gukku2019s arms around him.. but sniffs were now evident from the elder.:"},{"id":478277268,"character_id":0,"type":1,"content":"Gukk started to caress taeu2019s head and gently stroking the elderu2019s hair.."},{"id":478277269,"character_id":0,"type":1,"content":"Gukk spoke softly.."},{"id":478277270,"character_id":7111904,"type":2,"content":"My sky.. (says very softly)"},{"id":478277271,"character_id":7111904,"type":2,"content":"What makes you so restless? (Says with a tint of concern and a whole lot of love in his voice)"},{"id":478277272,"character_id":0,"type":1,"content":"This made Tae once again cry harder and shake his body which were pressed against the wife.. Gukk was now getting even more worried and scared for his husband.."},{"id":478277273,"character_id":7111904,"type":2,"content":"My soul.. I am worried now.."},{"id":478277274,"character_id":7111904,"type":2,"content":"Tell me what makes your heart tremble that you canu2019t overcome this pain.."},{"id":478277275,"character_id":7111904,"type":2,"content":"What pains you so much my life.."},{"id":478277276,"character_id":7111904,"type":2,"content":"I am there for you.. just be yourself and tell me.."},{"id":478277277,"character_id":7111904,"type":2,"content":"I swear I will understand (says with all his love)"},{"id":478277278,"character_id":0,"type":1,"content":"Tae felt very touched by Gukku2019s words and he felt not alone.. not that Tae was alone.. he knew his moon will stay beside him forever.. but he carried that burden alone.."},{"id":478277279,"character_id":0,"type":1,"content":"Tae carries his pain alone and sometimes they played a role in haunting and making the elder sad.."},{"id":478277280,"character_id":0,"type":1,"content":"Tae took a deep breath and started to turn.. Gukk immediately understood and started to make some gap for Tae to turn.."},{"id":478277281,"character_id":0,"type":1,"content":"Tae turned and sat immediately with deep breaths, wet cheeks and swollen eyes.. Gukk sat as well.."},{"id":478277282,"character_id":0,"type":1,"content":"The younger immediately pulled Tae between his legs.. Taeu2019s back rested on Gukku2019s chest and his head rested on the youngeru2019s shoulder.."},{"id":478277283,"character_id":0,"type":1,"content":"Gukk gently started to stroke Taeu2019s front body to his face.. Gukk back hugged Tae tightly.."},{"id":478277284,"character_id":0,"type":1,"content":"After few minutes of silence.. Tae finally spoke.."},{"id":478277285,"character_id":7111898,"type":2,"content":"I tried a lot to ignore this.."},{"id":478277286,"character_id":7111898,"type":2,"content":"But I keep feeling guilty and betrayed at the same time..when I try to move ahead in my life like a normal person.."},{"id":478277287,"character_id":7111898,"type":2,"content":"I feel guilty that I am stone hearted towards my parents.. I feel guilty that maybe.. or there could have been some possibility that I could have made min Ari change her decision of suiciding.."},{"id":478277288,"character_id":7111898,"type":2,"content":"I feel betrayed that i was suffering and my family plotted against me.."},{"id":478277289,"character_id":7111898,"type":2,"content":"I feel that I lost and was used a lot.. I feel so sad for myself.. that my soul aches sometime and I try my best to ignore it.. but sometimes I just canu2019t..."},{"id":478277290,"character_id":7111898,"type":2,"content":"I feel weak that I couldnu2019t protect you or my children.."},{"id":478277291,"character_id":7111898,"type":2,"content":"I lost my bunny.. I lost my second child.. I lost you for brief moment and I wasnu2019t there to protect and provide you when you were raising our daughter"},{"id":478277292,"character_id":7111898,"type":2,"content":"I feel angry on everyone"},{"id":478277293,"character_id":7111898,"type":2,"content":"I feel I could have been better"},{"id":478277294,"character_id":7111898,"type":2,"content":"I feel I could have lived and done better and we would have never faced all of this"},{"id":478277295,"character_id":7111898,"type":2,"content":"I just canu2019t shrug off the moment which i picture that you walked with one slipper to your parents house that night.. I canu2019t forgive the moment where I think you were scared and stayed hidden from me for so many years .. I canu2019t believe I could have been there talking to my daughter when she was in your belly and could have been there when she was born and could have been there when she took her first step did her everything first.. I canu2019t believe I wasnu2019t there"},{"id":478277296,"character_id":7111898,"type":2,"content":"I have lost so so so much.."},{"id":478277297,"character_id":7111898,"type":2,"content":"And my soul is aching.."},{"id":478277298,"character_id":7111898,"type":2,"content":"I want to forgive my parents.. I want to hug my father.. I want to lay my head on my motheru2019s lap.. but everytime I think or try to do that.. everything that I have lost makes me stubborn and turn away from them"},{"id":478277299,"character_id":7111898,"type":2,"content":"It is getting heavy on me.. and it is making me insane.."},{"id":478277300,"character_id":0,"type":1,"content":"Tae was crying like a baby who has just been punished for something that was not even his fault in the first place.."},{"id":478277301,"character_id":0,"type":1,"content":"Gukku2019s heart was in million pieces now and he knows deep down all happened because of his stupidity.. because of his inconsideration towards his sky.."},{"id":478277302,"character_id":0,"type":1,"content":"Tae has been like a strong rock in Gukku2019s life and when it was time for the wife to be the backbone of his husband.. he wasnu2019t there.. because he was weak.."},{"id":478277303,"character_id":0,"type":1,"content":"Gukku2019s heart was shattered thinking that all these days his sky stayed his support and helped him move ahead in life.. but he never thought That Tae was the most broken of all.."},{"id":478277304,"character_id":0,"type":1,"content":"Gukk doesnu2019t know what to say.. but he canu2019t blame himself now.. Taeu2019s words make him believe that he must be strong.. and so now it was Gukku2019s turn to make his husband strong.."},{"id":478277305,"character_id":0,"type":1,"content":"Gukk took a deep breath after few minutes and spoke as gently and softly as possible.."},{"id":478277306,"character_id":7111904,"type":2,"content":"You are right.. thatu2019s the truth my sky.. you suffered the most.."},{"id":478277307,"character_id":7111898,"type":2,"content":"I am sorry.. I didnu2019t mean to be this weak.. I just couldnu2019t hold it in my chest tonight.. I will.."},{"id":478277308,"character_id":7111904,"type":2,"content":"No.. (interrupts Tae immediately)"},{"id":478277309,"character_id":7111904,"type":2,"content":"No.. you donu2019t have to be alright.. donu2019t be.. itu2019s not needed now.."},{"id":478277310,"character_id":7111904,"type":2,"content":"You cry and curse and be angry as much as you want."},{"id":478277311,"character_id":7111904,"type":2,"content":"Itu2019s just me, your moon.."},{"id":478277312,"character_id":7111904,"type":2,"content":"My sky.. you let your burden get out of your chest.. and I will take those on my body.."},{"id":478277313,"character_id":7111904,"type":2,"content":"Like the way moon shines with the flaws.. with the spots.."},{"id":478277314,"character_id":7111904,"type":2,"content":"I will take your pain as those spots.. my sky you shine and I will shine with your burden.."},{"id":478277315,"character_id":7111904,"type":2,"content":"I promise you.."},{"id":478277316,"character_id":7111904,"type":2,"content":"I am sorry.. you had to go through all of these.."},{"id":478277317,"character_id":7111904,"type":2,"content":"But I promise you.. tonight.. you cry as much as you feel like and tomorrow we will lift each other again.."},{"id":478277318,"character_id":7111904,"type":2,"content":"Together we are forever my sky.."},{"id":478277319,"character_id":7111904,"type":2,"content":"I love you so much"},{"id":478277320,"character_id":7111904,"type":2,"content":"I am proud of you"},{"id":478277321,"character_id":7111904,"type":2,"content":"My destiny blessed me with you.. and I swear only you are my jewel.. my crown.. my soulu2019s heaven.. my best reward for existence"},{"id":478277322,"character_id":7111904,"type":2,"content":"I love you my sky.."},{"id":478277323,"character_id":7111904,"type":2,"content":"I love you beyond everything"},{"id":478277324,"character_id":0,"type":1,"content":"Tae once again torn up in Gukku2019s arm.. He shifted a little.. His one arm side body was now resting on Gukku2019s chest.. Tae clenched on Gukku2019s shirt tightly and started to sob even harder telling about all his heartaches and sadness."},{"id":478277325,"character_id":0,"type":1,"content":"Gukk listened and ensured to shower all his love for his sky.."},{"id":478277326,"character_id":0,"type":1,"content":"Gukk ensured to show every emotion with honesty and with utmost purity.."},{"id":478277327,"character_id":0,"type":1,"content":"Tae cried like a baby and hid himself in Gukku2019s embrace as if the younger was his peaceful blanket which covered him from head to toe.."},{"id":478277328,"character_id":0,"type":1,"content":"Tae soon started to get tired while talking about his hardship.. but before drifting to sleep.. Tae uttered his most honest words for Gukk.."},{"id":478277329,"character_id":7111898,"type":2,"content":"I love you more"},{"id":478277330,"character_id":0,"type":1,"content":"Gukk smiled and caressed Tae while the latter sleeps now peacefully.. Gukk stood awake like a bed for his husband.. like a backbone to the fragile lion of euphoria.."}]}