Taekook Anxieties!

{"messages":[{"id":502303271,"character_id":0,"type":1,"content":"V currently is sitting in a therapist room with his psychiatrist opposite him.. Itu2019s been a while, V made his visit for therapy sessions.. and he feels kind of awkward.. but the psychiatrist already knows v so she smiles fondly at the master.. a lot of memories rush through vu2019s minds some haunting, some fearful and some very agonised one.. But v has gotten stronger now with his family around especially his little one being strong as rock in his life..so v looks much more confident at least from how he was earlier while sitting in these sessions.."},{"id":502303272,"character_id":0,"type":1,"content":"As usual, the psychiatrist leads the session away.. she spoke.."},{"id":502303273,"character_id":5357858,"type":2,"content":"Itu2019s been awhile master., How do you feel coming here again!"},{"id":502303274,"character_id":4158246,"type":2,"content":"I feel awkward but I understand I have to do this so I think I can get through it.."},{"id":502303275,"character_id":5357858,"type":2,"content":"Itu2019s totally understandable.. but you know what is the positive factor here!"},{"id":502303276,"character_id":5357858,"type":2,"content":"Itu2019s that you have put past behind you and itu2019s about overcoming something new.."},{"id":502303277,"character_id":4158246,"type":2,"content":"All I see is weakness in me.. but sure if you like to put it that way.. I agree then! (Sighs)"},{"id":502303278,"character_id":5357858,"type":2,"content":"(Smiles fondly) you shouldnu2019t be so hard on yourself.. give a little credit to yourself.."},{"id":502303279,"character_id":5357858,"type":2,"content":"Itu2019s okay to have a panic attack and not be the strong one.. you are human master v and nature expects you at one point to act like one.."},{"id":502303280,"character_id":4158246,"type":2,"content":"Then I would like to change this nature.. i donu2019t accept it.. I must stay strong for my family especially for my love.. He needs me very much and I want to be there always to lift him up.."},{"id":502303281,"character_id":5357858,"type":2,"content":"Coming to that part.."},{"id":502303282,"character_id":5357858,"type":2,"content":"Letu2019s discuss your marriage life.. how has it been since your wife got diagnosed with derealization.."},{"id":502303283,"character_id":4158246,"type":2,"content":"To be honest, I never really see it as a weakness in him.. yes.. we had to modify a lot of things in our life and we still are making many changes.."},{"id":502303284,"character_id":4158246,"type":2,"content":"But I canu2019t remember a day where I was unhappy when I am with my little one.."},{"id":502303285,"character_id":4158246,"type":2,"content":"He always.. always (takes a deep breath) lights up my life and it doesnu2019t matter if he isnu2019t around sometime.. because his existence has been so much valuable to me that I really donu2019t want or expect much.."},{"id":502303286,"character_id":5357858,"type":2,"content":"He is a very lucky person to have a husband like you.. and I think he is aware of that.."},{"id":502303287,"character_id":4158246,"type":2,"content":"You know how people say that my little one is the lucky one.. to be honest all these time.. I can assure you.. if someone who is blessed with a good life itu2019s me because I have him and my son.."},{"id":502303288,"character_id":5357858,"type":2,"content":"Indeed.. so have you acknowledged your anger when you found out that Kookie is going on a date with another man?"},{"id":502303289,"character_id":4158246,"type":2,"content":"Yes Ofcorse.. I still hate myself for doing that.."},{"id":502303290,"character_id":4158246,"type":2,"content":"I want to overcome my anxieties of losing him.. I really want to.. I canu2019t be the person who hurts him.. I just canu2019t bear that.. (Shakes on his seat)"},{"id":502303291,"character_id":5357858,"type":2,"content":"Calm down.. letu2019s take deep breaths.. master v.."},{"id":502303292,"character_id":5357858,"type":2,"content":"I am glad you know your fault.. how about you try next time to remind yourself when you encounter a situation where you feel you are losing yourself.."},{"id":502303293,"character_id":4158246,"type":2,"content":"(Nods)"},{"id":502303294,"character_id":5357858,"type":2,"content":"How is your son coping with these changes?"},{"id":502303295,"character_id":4158246,"type":2,"content":"He has been very accommodative with everything around him.. I am always grateful for him for that... he is still young but a very good son.."},{"id":502303296,"character_id":5357858,"type":2,"content":"And what about the new development of relationship with Kookie.. how do you feel about that.."},{"id":502303297,"character_id":4158246,"type":2,"content":"(Bites his lips)"},{"id":502303298,"character_id":4158246,"type":2,"content":"(Rests his head on the couch and sighs)"},{"id":502303299,"character_id":4158246,"type":2,"content":"I feel like I am cheating my wife even though itu2019s the same person.."},{"id":502303300,"character_id":4158246,"type":2,"content":"I just donu2019t want to behave there is nothing between me and my wife.. our relationship is very pure and precious to me.. and I also feel.. I am cheating on Kookie by lying to him.."},{"id":502303301,"character_id":5357858,"type":2,"content":"How did your wife react to it?"},{"id":502303302,"character_id":4158246,"type":2,"content":"He was really supportive"},{"id":502303303,"character_id":4158246,"type":2,"content":"I understand his eagerness to just never be in that Sehun situation ever.. but I keep feeling something will crack if the lies continue more.. thatu2019s what scares me.."},{"id":502303304,"character_id":5357858,"type":2,"content":"How about taking it slow.. just let your bond grow stronger with Kookie.. and maybe when the right moment comes, you can explain him the reality.."},{"id":502303305,"character_id":4158246,"type":2,"content":"I really want that too.. and thatu2019s what keeps me determine"},{"id":502303306,"character_id":5357858,"type":2,"content":"Thatu2019s great news.. donu2019t let your anxiety come in between though.. if you feel your heart is weighing like before.. you can always take a step back to calm your thoughts.. and the sessions are always open for you.."},{"id":502303307,"character_id":4158246,"type":2,"content":"Thank you.."},{"id":502303308,"character_id":4158246,"type":2,"content":"I think thatu2019s enough for the day.."},{"id":502303309,"character_id":5357858,"type":2,"content":"Alright master v!"},{"id":502303310,"character_id":5357858,"type":2,"content":"How about you send me my next patient!"},{"id":502303311,"character_id":4158246,"type":2,"content":"Sure!"},{"id":502303312,"character_id":0,"type":1,"content":"V got up and gave a light smile to the psychiatrist.. He then walked out of the room only to find his little one looking at him with glossy eyes which shows eagerness to know more.."},{"id":502303313,"character_id":0,"type":1,"content":"V immediately hugged his wife.. this would actually be the first time jk attended one of vu2019s session.. so jk is emotional.."},{"id":502303314,"character_id":0,"type":1,"content":"V pulled away after few seconds and placed a soft peck on the youngeru2019s forehead.. jk hummed on the touch.."},{"id":502303315,"character_id":4158246,"type":2,"content":"Itu2019s your turn my light! (Says softly)"},{"id":502303316,"character_id":4158245,"type":2,"content":"(Nods)"},{"id":502303317,"character_id":4158245,"type":2,"content":"You did great my tiger.."},{"id":502303318,"character_id":4158245,"type":2,"content":"I am so proud of you.. (Pecks vu2019s cheek)"},{"id":502303319,"character_id":4158246,"type":2,"content":"Itu2019s funny, we both need sessions.."},{"id":502303320,"character_id":4158245,"type":2,"content":"Well.. itu2019s our little new hobby then.. (smiles bunny like)"},{"id":502303321,"character_id":4158246,"type":2,"content":"My positive soul.. (Pecks Jku2019s nose)"},{"id":502303322,"character_id":4158246,"type":2,"content":"I will wait for you here na..common.. (gives a boxy smile)"},{"id":502303323,"character_id":4158245,"type":2,"content":"I will back soon! (Smiles and walks near the door)"},{"id":502303324,"character_id":4158245,"type":2,"content":"(Opens the door knob and looks back at v with lots of love)"},{"id":502303325,"character_id":4158245,"type":2,"content":"(Turns his face back to the door.. sighs and walks inside)"},{"id":502303326,"character_id":5357858,"type":2,"content":"Hello master Kim Jungkook (smiles sweetly)"},{"id":502303327,"character_id":4158245,"type":2,"content":"Hi! (Says gently)"},{"id":502303328,"character_id":5357858,"type":2,"content":"Have a seat!"},{"id":502303329,"character_id":4158245,"type":2,"content":"(Nods and goes near the couch)"},{"id":502303330,"character_id":4158245,"type":2,"content":"(Lays on the couch)"},{"id":502303331,"character_id":4158245,"type":2,"content":"(Stares at the ceiling and blinks multiple times)"},{"id":502303332,"character_id":5357858,"type":2,"content":"How have you been holding up after our last session on accepting yourself!"},{"id":502303333,"character_id":4158245,"type":2,"content":"I think.. I am getting there quite alright.. I even found a place where every now and then there are sessions and gatherings of people who suffer like me so it has given me a lot of exposure.."},{"id":502303334,"character_id":4158245,"type":2,"content":"I feel not alone.."},{"id":502303335,"character_id":5357858,"type":2,"content":"Thatu2019s a very good news.. I am really glad you have started to participate in these sessions."},{"id":502303336,"character_id":4158245,"type":2,"content":"Yeah.. but sometimes I fear.. you know there are so many people in the session that I met who were definitely fed up of being sick and just wanted the end of it.."},{"id":502303337,"character_id":5357858,"type":2,"content":"sickness can sometimes be very overwhelming.."},{"id":502303338,"character_id":4158245,"type":2,"content":"But I donu2019t want to be fed up.. I canu2019t.. I want to be there as long as I have my tiger and son.."},{"id":502303339,"character_id":5357858,"type":2,"content":"There you have your answer then.."},{"id":502303340,"character_id":5357858,"type":2,"content":"If you feel like you are fed up with your life.. remember what you want more.. the need to be there with your husband and son.. it will keep you focused and you can always overcome that anxiety.."},{"id":502303341,"character_id":4158245,"type":2,"content":"You are right!"},{"id":502303342,"character_id":4158245,"type":2,"content":"I guess that is helpful.. (smiles lightly)"},{"id":502303343,"character_id":5357858,"type":2,"content":"I have heard a new development between Kookie and master v.. how are you feeling about that.."},{"id":502303344,"character_id":4158245,"type":2,"content":"Honestly.. I am just glad I donu2019t have to recover my myself with another man around me.. thatu2019s disgusting.. I hate myself for doing that.."},{"id":502303345,"character_id":4158245,"type":2,"content":"But I worry for my husband.."},{"id":502303346,"character_id":4158245,"type":2,"content":"Itu2019s bugging him.. these lies and I can understand how he wants to boldly live our relationship.."},{"id":502303347,"character_id":4158245,"type":2,"content":"He is always so strong and he hates to lie to me.. so I worry a lot.. I donu2019t want him to be stressful about it.."},{"id":502303348,"character_id":5357858,"type":2,"content":"Then let him know that he is doing the right thing.. it will take a lot of burden off him.."},{"id":502303349,"character_id":4158245,"type":2,"content":"yes indeed.. I should.. as long as I am here I am going to try and remind him that he is doing everything right"},{"id":502303350,"character_id":5357858,"type":2,"content":"Thatu2019s the spirit"},{"id":502303351,"character_id":5357858,"type":2,"content":"I want to say you are doing really great.. I checked your latest medical tests.. itu2019s promising"},{"id":502303352,"character_id":5357858,"type":2,"content":"Just nurture your sickness and be fully free.."},{"id":502303353,"character_id":4158245,"type":2,"content":"Thank you"},{"id":502303354,"character_id":4158245,"type":2,"content":"If we are done.. can I leave then! (Sits on the couch)"},{"id":502303355,"character_id":5357858,"type":2,"content":"Alright, you take care now.."},{"id":502303356,"character_id":0,"type":1,"content":"Jk bowed to the psychiatrist and headed out of the room immediately.."},{"id":502303357,"character_id":0,"type":1,"content":"The younger wasted no time in hiding in his tigeru2019s embrace.. v feels so warm and forever for jk that he can just live his entire life with that much.. either be Kookie or jk.."},{"id":502303358,"character_id":4158434,"type":2,"content":"Hi! I am sorry I have not been updating for awhile.. actually.. I have been exhausted due to the work and also since yesterday my manga wasnu2019t working on my wifi.. and the data network I have is shitty.. but I have managed to update this.. I will try to update more.. and sorry if this chapter was boring... but I really do want to showcase their struggles with sickness as well.."},{"id":502303359,"character_id":4158434,"type":2,"content":"I remember I once upon a time went to a therapist.. he was very nice and he told me that you should give yourself a little credit for going through it.. so I feel one should indeed give themselves some credit for even being sick and healthy... it was nothing serious though but I had a phase of anxiousness myself so that was only one time visit"}]}