Chapter 36

Back at the academy, I asked several soldiers who visited us what it felt like to be in the field. There was one who survived from war. He said he saw how many times his life flashed before his eyes. The other one who almost died said he could see white and he thought he was dead. He was glad he woke up from a room in the hospital. That’s probably the white he saw in his dream yet he was positive he died and came back to life miraculously. The pain in my stomach was unbearable. I could clearly feel the blood oozing out. I felt dizzy and about to lose my consciousness. Brunton stared down at me with a blank face with no remorse on whatever he did. His bodyguard was staggering towards the elevator buttons. If I know any better he’s going to stop it from moving further up. I slowly slump to the floor trying so hard to stand still but ended up falling to the ground. My body slid against the wall. I was clutching my stomach, forcing my thoughts that my wound will eventually stop from bleeding. It was a lie though. It will never stop unless there’s nothing to bleed anymore. However, it was hard for me to maintain my consciousness. I was drifting away fast and I had no longer control over it. Who am I kidding? Right now, I am hopeless. Just when I thought I could submit myself to darkness, I felt the elevator door opened. I saw Brunton’s face paled and his eyes widened. I guess his bodyguard didn’t make it in time. I turned to see the reason of his sudden fear. There he was at the other side shooting daggers at my already wounded self. Even if I was losing my consciousness, I could still see the glint in his eyes filled with rage. His fists were clenching so hard that it turned white. His veins popped. This is the most terrifying look I’ve ever seen on him. If I wasn’t at this state, I’m sure I’ve already shivered from fear. He looked so murderous right now. And that’s the last thing I saw right when darkness consumed me. --- White. Not only is it my surname but it’s what I’m seeing right now. My eyes squinted from so much brightness. My throat was parched like I haven’t tasted water as I travelled in the heat of the desert. I felt light headed. The bright white light confused me with something else.  Something I thought I’d forever see. "Avery..." An unfamiliar soft voice called me out from my state of subconsciousness. My eyes slowly opened, fighting the extreme brightness above. A shadow suddenly loomed over me. I adjusted my eyes to see him. He was a young man, a teenager with a lean body. His eyes were the same as mine and as his hair. Though his voice was unfamiliar but his face wasn’t. It reminded me of someone. "Avery, you’re awake." He said softly with a hint of panic, concern and relief in his voice. My brows knitted together and my eyes squinted even more. "W-Who... Who are you?" I then looked around realising where I was. My eyes went back to his. He suddenly became frantic. "I-I’ll call the doctor. Oh, gosh. You don’t remember anything. You have an amnesia." I frowned hearing his mumbo jumbo. "I don’t have an amnesia. I just..." I stared at the cute young man before me as I was lost for words. "Keelan?" I asked incredulously. "Sis, you remembered." He then attacked me with a hug. I oomph from surprise. "I just didn’t... recognize you." I said with a throaty sound. He then let me go with a childish grin. He then reached for the glass of water on the table beside me and gave it to me. Once I was done drinking, I returned it to him. "You’ve grown quite well, Kee. You’re a handsome young man now. You’re voice have changed too. I thought I was the only beauty in the family. Look at you. Puberty really hit you hard." I said cheekily. "Thanks, sis." There goes the childish grin again. "But you’re still so childish, my handsome young brother." I reached for his cheeks and pinched it. "I miss you so much." I gave him a small smile. He then clasped my hand which touched his rosy cheek. "Me too, sis." He sat back down to the chair beside me. "How are you here? Did you fly here alone?" In came my sisterly interrogation. "I’m with Mom and Dad, Ave. I insisted to go with them since it’s now summer vacation, there’s not much to do." "How the hell did you achieve that body, Keelan? Is there some girl you plan to impress with?" As I eyed his toned body. Keelan, as smart as he could be and as always, noticed my aversion of the topic of our parents. He knew well how I didn’t like it so he respected my little act. "Well... Dad made me go to boot camps every summer." And I know well enough what he meant. The trail in his words let me understood its meaning. It was because of me that Dad sent him to boot camps. He probably didn’t want Keelan to be like me. Considering we’re both very close, he feared for a possibility. "I must say it did do you good, Mr. White." I smiled proudly at him. "Thanks, sis. You’ve changed too. You’re more beautiful. I’d say suffering did you really good." I pinched his arm. This kid is the only one who has permission to be so sarcastic with such delicate subject. "Why you little-" Keelan laughed like his usual childish self. My brother grew to be a fine young man. With his looks right now, I’m sure girls are fighting each other to be with him. High school is like war. You don’t know who your real friends are and your real enemies. I certainly don’t want him to be like me. Not when he grew to be beautiful and kind. Nothing like his big sister who wasted her years lost and being stupid. Keelan and I talked and talked for hours. We filled each others gaps at the times when we weren’t there for each other. We joked and laughed at our craziness. I almost forgot that I was in the hospital deeply injured. The two of us might have changed but our bond didn’t. No amount of distance could tear it apart. I love Keelan so much that I was willing to do anything for him. He’s one of the main reasons why I decided not to go against my father when he sent me to military school. I could have rebelled or ran away like a coward I’ve always been... but I didn’t. Keelan finding me half dead was a huge slap of reality for me. Later that day, when Keelan called our parents to know that I was already awake, they immediately invaded my room. I also noticed that Keelan called them a few hours after I woke up. It would have been because he wanted to talk with just the two of us or he understood that I wasn’t still confident enough to face them. But sooner or later, I have to face them. Like now as Dad was the first one to open my room’s door. "Avery!" My mother overtook Dad with her worried yet excited face. Tears spilled her eyes as she hurriedly came and gave me her warmest hug. I have to be honest though, I wasn’t really close with my parents. The three of us have a rocky relationship when my rebel phase started. From then on, their attention drew to Keelan. But it didn’t really affect me, I was too caught up and absorbed with my ego. "Mom..." I whispered. My emotions exploded inside me that I didn’t know how to convey it. Then and there I cried. I cried for my mistakes. My guilt. My self hatred. The pain that they never knew I felt. Their warmth I have missed for more than three years of my absence. Everything. Just everything that I felt and trapped inside me all these years... came out from my cry.