Chapter 47

Two months later. My eyes opened abruptly when I suddenly remember I’m going to be fucking late for class. Shit. This is so fucking cliche. I hurriedly got up from my awkward sleeping position. I was relieved to see the book that have become my pillow has no drool. It was 2am when I saw the time before I drifted to sleep. And now it’s 930am. My class is 10am. I’m going to be so screwed. We have a freaking exam. I didn’t pull an all nighter just to fail. My dad left out the fact that studying business isn’t a walk in the park. Well, I survived a bone crushing muscle twisting military drills. So I guess it’s okay? --- I am late. Very late. I thought as I ran in the hallways of NYU. I ran as fast as I could. I almost slid past my room. "S-sorry I’m late Mr.-" I cut myself off when I realised it wasn’t Mr. Evans and out of instinct I saluted like we usually did when we meet the high ranking officers at the camp. "Sir." As I straightened my body as a sign of respect. I heard giggles and laughs at the room. I then realised and embarrassingly realised with a quote- that I wasn’t where I thought I’d be. ****. I seriously need to literally wake up from this nightmare I’m creating. My eyes widened. My skin turned embarrassingly red. I heard everyone’s chuckles and murmurs. I looked at the person who I used to call Lieutenant back at the academy. He was suppressing his urge to laugh but it was clearly written all over his face that he wanted to laugh so hard. I inclined my head down and proceed to walk to my seat... with incredible embarrassment and a burning skin I might add. He then announced again for my sake that our current professor, Mr. Evans was on leave. He and his wife just had their baby. He was going to be Mr. Evan’s substitute for a while. Throughout the lecture, I was relieved that he didn’t take notice of me. He was so professional that it felt like we were total strangers. Despite the fact that we had some crazy history. The bell finally rang. I was so hungry that I could eat a pizza-sized burger. Note the exaggeration. I didn’t have breakfast worried that I wouldn’t be able to take the exam. Either way, Mr. Evans plus new professor equals to no exam happening. Yeyyy~ "Miss White." I looked up at the familiar voice who called me. I was just finished putting the book and my notebook in my bag. Lieutenant- I mean Professor Ross stood before me with a cute smirk on his face. Did I mention he was one fourth Korean? Gosh, the dimples on his cheeks when he smile. The whole girls in the classroom were squirming on their seats with the way his muscles flex while discussing economics in our class. I was shocked that he called and approached me. I thought I’m gonna be saved with such embarrassment... again. Guess not. "Sir- Lieut- I mean Professor!" I exclaimed shaking my head from my daze. I noticed the other students wondering why Professor Ross was talking to me. I could see the jealousy from the other girls. He chuckled beautifully. Is that even possible? "Hey, it’s been along time. How are you?" I smiled. "I’m all good, Professor Ross." I said as I wore my backpack. I emphasised the word Professor knowing I didn’t forget it. "Please... call me Nathan. I don’t wanna be called Professor by someone who was already my acquaintance." We walked outside the classroom to the hallways of the building. "Well, I am your student again. Though... you’re no longer..." My thoughts trailed when I suddenly remembered why he was no longer the lieutenant teaching at the famous military academy. He stopped walking as he copied my frown. "Avery..." I stopped as he pronounced my name softly. "It was never your fault. I’ve been wanting you to know that. I hope you didn’t bring that burden until now. Just so you know, I’m happy and good- great even." He shrugged. "It was my fault. If you haven’t helped me that night, rumours wouldn’t have spread of you... sleeping with me." I whispered the last part afraid that someone might hear me. A strong weight sat on my heart pulling me down. It was heavy and quite painful. Nathan looked around carefully. "Let’s talk somewhere else. How about lunch? I’m hungry." Nathan and I go a while back at the academy. It was just my first year there. I was bullied and expectedly having withdrawals. I was a complete mess. One night, the other cadets went overboard with their bullying. I was out that night looking for fresh air. I was trying to supress my anxiety. The fact that I’m surrounded by people always breathing down my neck made it more suffocating and stressed out. I was more than depressed. When I felt I was okay, I sat down under a huge tree. Not a minute long, they came and taunt me like they always did. When I ignored them like I usually did, they decided to beat me up. The pain they inflicted was excruciating. They kicked and punched me so hard. Three of them made sure to take turns and laughed at me. It was one after another. I could taste the blood in my mouth. It tasted like rusted metal. I gritted my teeth holding myself not to cry. I deserved this shit. That’s what I thought. Lt. Ross came and I was saved from their further assault. He was on his rounds that night and found a couple of cadets lurking in the middle of the night. He went and found me beaten up. He scolded and reprimanded the girls and helped me. I couldn’t move while he helped me get up. The pain made me disabled. He carried me and went to his room. He helped me with my bruises and wounds and bandaged them. After that, I blacked out. The next day, rumors have spread that I slept with Lt. Ross. The captain and the other officers bursted to the door. And it was the perfect timing when he helped me up from the bed. Second Lieutenant Nathan Ross. I’d say he was the academy’s heartthrob- if I wasn’t so much drowned in my withdrawals back then. The girls admired and loved them including those three who beat me up to pulp. He was the youngest soldier with ranks back then. He was handsome, kind and has this killer smile that highlighted his dimples. The girls swoon over him. That’s why when he paid so much attention to me, they have the more reason to despise me. He showed sympathy and concern. He always knew he was walking on thin ice with me. I was sensitive and depressed and ostracised. He wanted to help me. But his kindness took a toll. It made it worse. The jealousy and envy of people were something you wouldn’t wish to know. I then heard the news that Lt. Ross retired from being a soldier. Guilt and pain washed over me. I was the only one to blame. I was the reason he was gone. Anger, pain, guilt, regret... all the emotions I felt came flooding to me in my system. I wanted to cry so badly but then... I realized a lot of things. It was no time for me to dwell on such emotions. Lt. Ross was the only one who was willing to help me... To save me from the state I was in. His efforts shouldn’t have been wasted because I was too stupid, too selfish, too absorbed in my own depressing world. He told me to fight. To fight for myself and to fight for others. It was sad that I had to realize it when he was gone. It was weeks later from his retirement that I have decided to try. I would fight. And the thought of my brother crossed my mind. I could change. I will change. For him. To the sister he always admired. She’s going to be better. Someone who’s worthy of her family. I will redeem myself even for the rest of my life. My renewed motivation was like a mantra to me. To wake up at dawn to train. To work hard hundred times the **** I made those ludicrousy. And just everything from there brought me to where I am now.