Chapter 11 11. Hubby’s confession

Raven’s point of view… Her skin was as soft as silk. The more I held her close the more I craved for her skin. She has not changed even a bit. She has maintained herself like the old Kiara from college. Everybody hated me, all the guys. They wanted to own her as theirs but I got to mark her with my name. I met her on the college gate for the first time. It was her first day, she was a transfer and the topper of her state who was given the opportunity to study in our esteemed institute. Her first gaze was magical. It was enough to bring someone like me on his knees. She spelled me such that I ended up proposing her. I ravished her skin as much as I can. She never permitted me to go beyond neck kisses, that was frustrating, but having her so close— was like a dream come true. Where in the college all the others were mentally raping her I could not stand it. She was my damn girlfriend, I had the rights to do everything to her but then also I could not do so. Just because she was very shy. I still remember how much she made me wait for a lip kiss. I do not think she would have considered to give that to me unless I would not have had a fight in the college campus with my hostel room mates. They called her lesbian! Only I know how badly did I controlled myself from not separating their heads from their body. Regardless now I realize why did everyone wanted to claim Kiara! She is as hot as the blazing sun with more than necessary sex appeal. I continued to go down and down in the south until I reached her cleavage. Having given it a glance as I opened my lips to attack her skin, Raven! Raven I heard her call me. Nevertheless, I did not stop. I just could not keep myself in my limits. I have waited for years for this moment. Raven where are you lost! You are scaring me, Raven! I blinked my eyes and— what the!!!! We were standing against the balconies door only. She was constantly trying to MAKE me speak while I was DREAMING WITH OPEN EYES!!!! SHIT! She batted her lashes apprehensively whilst tenderly stroking my cheeks. Hmmm I defeatedly concealed my face in the flexure of her neck. She seemingly mollified in my arms suspending her entire weight on my shoulders that a small smile crept on my mouth. After break up or for that after matter having gone through worst phase in life people tend to change. They become somebody else but Kiara, she has not transformed herself. And this nature of hers, makes me die a thousand death every day. I though did leave her but every freaking moment I missed her. I missed every habit of her, every stupid thing she used to say just to make me happy— I missed that all. Uhh may be because SHE showed me my place and my mistake as to what have I done to my life by rejecting Kiara and selecting HER. Shame on me that I left her. Somebody said it very true, ’We tend to miss people once they are gone forever from our lives’ I can better relate this maxim to my life. Only I know how much did I regret letting her go. She just wanted me and I played with her feelings, I betrayed her. I do not know if I ever be able to get her forgiveness! She is good, she might forgive me, yet I will not be able to be completely satisfied. Not at least when I know I am yet betraying her. I snuggled her skin, she smells the same, her cologne as and when hit my nostrils, it worked on my senses in a way that I just wanted to cuddle her until sleep over takes. Having picked her up in my arms I walked toward our bed. She must be thinking why aren’t we spending this night like other married couple natheless I cannot do it. I have ruined her happiness many a times— Now I do not want to ruin her innocence with my unethical actions no more. I am sure she will hate me once she knows my reason of marrying her? I am selfish, I always was. I Ieft her three years ago for my lust towards Shania and now I came back to her for my own reasons. I am sorry! I bought her palms across my face kissing them one by one. I left my goddess for someone who never deserved to be at her place. Why! Giving her a peck on her head as I smiled focusing on her pout, she smiled back. Why sorry! I can’t help myself from sarcastically laughing on my condition, when did I become so freaking lucky that I got her back in my life! After being hurt so many times by me she was asking me WHY? Do I still have to quote out the reasons to her? I cannot trust my own ears. For hurting you. For leaving you. For insulting you and above all, For replacing you! she stilled at my confession. Her eyes bore so many emotions. They were red already, so I cannot make out whether it was because of what I said or because of what had happened between us moment ago near the balcony. No matter what it might be, I know it was me who made them red! I regret my wrong decisions every day, every moment of my life! And leaving you was one of them. There was no need for her to describe her vehemence— it was apparent on her face. How much I missed this? But can’t refuse to the fact it was me who left her! We sat in silence staring each other’s face, perhaps looking for love in each other’s eyes. She was in the verge of bursting into tears, yet I ought to salute her tolerance. She have always been good at suppressing her emotions. Maybe even now she was doing it to not show me! Say something! I know you are still hurt. And may be you want to leave me too just like how I did to you just you cannot show it. I smiled while she frowned. She hymphed with bubbled cheeks all set to shower me with her vexation. Unless, she only pounded on me like a predator pinning me to the bed. I was amazed with this act 9f hers. She was never a fierce Kiara but a timid one who could not even fight back my brother for his bullying. I wanted to laugh when she began to hit me with her tiny fists mumbling something that pounded from over my head! Raven Carter I just want to kill you. What the, she was in tears again. Did I do something wrong. Before I could say anything in my defence her hiccups were resonating in the room. Ehh Kiara! Please don’t cry, I swear I was just joking with you. I know you cannot even kill a mosquito then planning such a thing is far to be thought by you! I exclaimed that came out more like pulling her leg. Though she stopped crying but what she stated next really played with my heart severely! No, I can kill a mosquito. I even killed two while you were gone in the afternoon. like seriously, I chuckled while she nodded in yes. God, I thank you for gifting me this drama queen. Tbc…