Saved Me!

{"messages":[{"id":837569096,"character_id":0,"type":1,"position":3,"content":"ud83dudda4Trigger Warningud83dudda4"},{"id":837569097,"character_id":0,"type":1,"position":3,"content":"ud83dudda4Do Not Read If You Are Sensitive To Violence. But Do Not Reportud83dudda4"},{"id":837569098,"character_id":0,"type":1,"position":3,"content":"."},{"id":837569099,"character_id":0,"type":1,"position":3,"content":"."},{"id":837569100,"character_id":0,"type":1,"position":3,"content":"."},{"id":837569101,"character_id":0,"type":1,"position":3,"content":"."},{"id":837569102,"character_id":0,"type":1,"position":3,"content":"."},{"id":837569103,"character_id":0,"type":1,"position":3,"content":"."},{"id":837569104,"character_id":0,"type":1,"position":3,"content":"."},{"id":837569105,"character_id":0,"type":1,"position":3,"content":"."},{"id":837569106,"character_id":0,"type":1,"position":3,"content":"Jungkooku2019s POV!"},{"id":837569107,"character_id":0,"type":1,"position":3,"content":"."},{"id":837569108,"character_id":0,"type":1,"position":3,"content":"."},{"id":837569109,"character_id":0,"type":1,"position":3,"content":"Is there a meaning to r@pe in a marriage which identifies two people as united, as one."},{"id":837569110,"character_id":0,"type":1,"position":3,"content":"Is there a surface that you can point as u201cr@peu201d in a marriage that ties two bodies, two souls in a beautiful thread called as u201cforeveru201d"},{"id":837569111,"character_id":0,"type":1,"position":3,"content":"Till death do us apartu2026"},{"id":837569112,"character_id":0,"type":1,"position":3,"content":"Death!"},{"id":837569113,"character_id":0,"type":1,"position":3,"content":"Death"},{"id":837569114,"character_id":0,"type":1,"position":3,"content":"Do"},{"id":837569115,"character_id":0,"type":1,"position":3,"content":"Us"},{"id":837569116,"character_id":0,"type":1,"position":3,"content":"Apart"},{"id":837569117,"character_id":0,"type":1,"position":3,"content":"I chanted!"},{"id":837569118,"character_id":0,"type":1,"position":3,"content":"."},{"id":837569119,"character_id":0,"type":1,"position":3,"content":"."},{"id":837569120,"character_id":0,"type":1,"position":3,"content":"."},{"id":837569121,"character_id":0,"type":1,"position":3,"content":"Death did us apart!"},{"id":837569122,"character_id":0,"type":1,"position":3,"content":"Thankfully, it did"},{"id":837569123,"character_id":0,"type":1,"position":3,"content":"It"},{"id":837569124,"character_id":0,"type":1,"position":3,"content":"Did"},{"id":837569125,"character_id":0,"type":1,"position":3,"content":"Us"},{"id":837569126,"character_id":0,"type":1,"position":3,"content":"Apart!"},{"id":837569127,"character_id":0,"type":1,"position":3,"content":"."},{"id":837569128,"character_id":0,"type":1,"position":3,"content":"."},{"id":837569129,"character_id":0,"type":1,"position":3,"content":"."},{"id":837569130,"character_id":0,"type":1,"position":3,"content":"But all this while.. I never really understood which part of the pain in a marriage will be finally enough to be apart.. to be apart as a breathing soul.. as two breathing people.."},{"id":837569131,"character_id":0,"type":1,"position":3,"content":"Two breathing flesh and bone..separated from each other and were finally freed.. in a marriage, this separation comes with new names.. u201cdivorced, unlucky, too shame, blames and pityu201d I know there are more names to it that only reminds you of your only bad marriage"},{"id":837569132,"character_id":0,"type":1,"position":3,"content":"."},{"id":837569133,"character_id":0,"type":1,"position":3,"content":"."},{"id":837569134,"character_id":0,"type":1,"position":3,"content":"."},{"id":837569135,"character_id":0,"type":1,"position":3,"content":"Tell me, is it a r@pe., if everything that I felt was shivering pain.."},{"id":837569136,"character_id":0,"type":1,"position":3,"content":"The kind of pain that makes your body on fire stuffed in icy cold water, deep.. shoved in the pit of the ocean deep deep below the surface of the mesh soils .. the fire burned and my body was engulfed into fits of shivering pain.. it shook violently at each push and pull.. that was my soul which was being pushed and pulled repeatedly and unwanted"},{"id":837569137,"character_id":0,"type":1,"position":3,"content":"Everything was reversed and opposite of the first time"},{"id":837569138,"character_id":0,"type":1,"position":3,"content":"The gentle touch and care were reversed with tight slaps and torture"},{"id":837569139,"character_id":0,"type":1,"position":3,"content":"Every thing ached.. everything made it remorseful, disgusting and unimaginable"},{"id":837569140,"character_id":0,"type":1,"position":3,"content":"The sweet kiss of the first time was tormented, modified into a impeccably perfect nightmare"},{"id":837569141,"character_id":0,"type":1,"position":3,"content":"Tell me, could it be finally defined as r@pe in a marriage"},{"id":837569142,"character_id":0,"type":1,"position":3,"content":"No one seem to answer me this one simple question.. my body is a testimony.."},{"id":837569143,"character_id":0,"type":1,"position":3,"content":"My body is pitifully alive"},{"id":837569144,"character_id":0,"type":1,"position":3,"content":"This blur lines of a marriage were screaming in red lashes on my body.. but it was sadly unanswered., it still remains unanswered"},{"id":837569145,"character_id":0,"type":1,"position":3,"content":"This one thin line where one of the two wasnu2019t supposed to overstep as the vows of the uniting day remained the solid proof that it shouldnu2019t have ever been crossed"},{"id":837569146,"character_id":0,"type":1,"position":3,"content":"It was crossed though"},{"id":837569147,"character_id":0,"type":1,"position":3,"content":"My body hated it.. as if from the inside I was stiffened"},{"id":837569148,"character_id":0,"type":1,"position":3,"content":"My insides were pulled and twisted, shoved into the pool of immense pain where I was drowning without any air to my lungs.."},{"id":837569149,"character_id":0,"type":1,"position":3,"content":"Answer me, will this ever be considered r@pe., I guess it should.. there must be a place.. the world isnu2019t all bad"},{"id":837569150,"character_id":0,"type":1,"position":3,"content":"Sadly, it was my world that was scaring my body with joy and that devious laugh that made me fall in love with him in the first place"},{"id":837569151,"character_id":0,"type":1,"position":3,"content":"."},{"id":837569152,"character_id":0,"type":1,"position":3,"content":"."},{"id":837569153,"character_id":0,"type":1,"position":3,"content":"."},{"id":837569154,"character_id":0,"type":1,"position":3,"content":"I had no place to go when I left the hotel after I finally came to know the horrendous truth about my husband"},{"id":837569155,"character_id":0,"type":1,"position":3,"content":"I was in a baboon of millions of strangers inside it.. the night didnu2019t help.. my feet which knew only of one path, walked it nevertheless.,"},{"id":837569156,"character_id":0,"type":1,"position":3,"content":"No family near., no friends to call and hide in their embrace"},{"id":837569157,"character_id":0,"type":1,"position":3,"content":"I was left with a choice to walk the only path I knew all too long"},{"id":837569158,"character_id":0,"type":1,"position":3,"content":"I wish I had rather died on the street with hunger"},{"id":837569159,"character_id":0,"type":1,"position":3,"content":"But the truth was that the fear of dying on the street with hunger is what made me choose the same path.. which was now my hell h0le"},{"id":837569160,"character_id":0,"type":1,"position":3,"content":"A week passed.. I didnu2019t leave the guest room.. only coming out when chanyeol was gone to his work and hiding in the fluffy blanket inside the bathroom, everytime he came back.."},{"id":837569161,"character_id":0,"type":1,"position":3,"content":"That blanket was my only hide out in those days., and I always remained in that four corners of the bathroom which was pillared by concrete walls and cold glossy tiles"},{"id":837569162,"character_id":0,"type":1,"position":3,"content":"But not for too long.."},{"id":837569163,"character_id":0,"type":1,"position":3,"content":"Chanyeol got bored and angry with me.. he needed his pretty doll to behave like how it should have.. pretty and submissive"},{"id":837569164,"character_id":0,"type":1,"position":3,"content":"Finally loosing patience, chanyeol took the lead of a life where he would continue to abuse the most basic and significant law of marriage.."},{"id":837569165,"character_id":0,"type":1,"position":3,"content":"Protect and provide.. shelter and safe haven.. love and trust.. respect and care - are some basic laws of marriages"},{"id":837569166,"character_id":0,"type":1,"position":3,"content":"Was tossed away in a pile of desirous hunger..an addiction where I was the drug and I hated it"},{"id":837569167,"character_id":0,"type":1,"position":3,"content":"No escape.. thatu2019s how it was"},{"id":837569168,"character_id":0,"type":1,"position":3,"content":"Finally taking the courage I wrote to the only people I knew.. the only people I knew could protect me and hide me.. love me and nurture me.."},{"id":837569169,"character_id":0,"type":1,"position":3,"content":"I wrote to them.. my parents.."},{"id":837569170,"character_id":0,"type":1,"position":3,"content":"I was even ready to beg on my knees., to even kiss their feet., to chant the words u201ci am sorry, take me inu201d"},{"id":837569171,"character_id":0,"type":1,"position":3,"content":"Forgive me for the sins I have done"},{"id":837569172,"character_id":0,"type":1,"position":3,"content":"Forgive me for I loved a wrong man"},{"id":837569173,"character_id":0,"type":1,"position":3,"content":"Forgive me for the love I chose was a mistake"},{"id":837569174,"character_id":0,"type":1,"position":3,"content":"Forgive me for being my own destroyer"},{"id":837569175,"character_id":0,"type":1,"position":3,"content":"However, I was replied with few beautiful words that would only add fire to my trembling days.. a fire that did burn my soul into ashes.."},{"id":837569176,"character_id":0,"type":1,"position":3,"content":"complete thick dark ashes, I saw it with my own vivid eyes.. the detachment with my ownself"},{"id":837569177,"character_id":0,"type":1,"position":3,"content":"Father said, u201cwe have no sonu201d"},{"id":837569178,"character_id":0,"type":1,"position":3,"content":"No.. donu2019t say it like that father.. I am your only son.."},{"id":837569179,"character_id":0,"type":1,"position":3,"content":"Father further said, u201cyou died the day you choose the path with a boyu201d"},{"id":837569180,"character_id":0,"type":1,"position":3,"content":"No.. donu2019t say it like that.. father I know it was a crime., the guilt is eating me alive.."},{"id":837569183,"character_id":0,"type":1,"position":3,"content":"Save me.."},{"id":837569186,"character_id":0,"type":1,"position":3,"content":"Please father"},{"id":837569188,"character_id":0,"type":1,"position":3,"content":"But no reply further"},{"id":837569191,"character_id":0,"type":1,"position":3,"content":"I was the pretty doll exactly how I was meant for my husband"},{"id":837569194,"character_id":0,"type":1,"position":3,"content":"But this time I was indeed exactly like a pretty doll that had no life but only cold flesh..like how a dead body is.. i guess, thatu2019s how dolls are too..I guess thatu2019s how they r@pe them too.. seeing them as only pretty doll without a heartbeat"},{"id":837569196,"character_id":0,"type":1,"position":3,"content":"It continued and I forgot the count.. it was every day.. the brutality on my own innocence was every night.."},{"id":837569199,"character_id":0,"type":1,"position":3,"content":"The day only reminded me of the unbearable pain I received in the dark starry night"},{"id":837569201,"character_id":0,"type":1,"position":3,"content":"This time of the months were different.. my husband didnu2019t consider my nos.. he didnu2019t care about my existence.. he even didnu2019t care about his own marriage"},{"id":837569204,"character_id":0,"type":1,"position":3,"content":"Every men and women that were behind the scenes of a marriage were now open in broad day light.."},{"id":837569207,"character_id":0,"type":1,"position":3,"content":"I wasnu2019t alone but I was alone who hated his touches"},{"id":837569209,"character_id":0,"type":1,"position":3,"content":"The others came willing to enjoy.. this sinful and addictive pleasure.."},{"id":837569212,"character_id":0,"type":1,"position":3,"content":"I remembered crying listening to them moan filth from the other room.. two bodies attached and reeked of $ex.. I was always kept for the end of the day.."},{"id":837569214,"character_id":0,"type":1,"position":3,"content":"Should I have fought with him and the others., but with whose help.. he including the others kept saying u201cI am aloneu201d.. i wasnu2019t allowed to stand on my own feet.. the magnitude of such powers are always great anyways.. Afterall, I lived with a delusional that you can depend on your husband.. isnu2019t thatu2019s how a beautiful marriage is suppose to be.. but in my case, my shelter was painted into desired pains.."},{"id":837569217,"character_id":0,"type":1,"position":3,"content":"Thatu2019s how I was"},{"id":837569219,"character_id":0,"type":1,"position":3,"content":"Alone.."},{"id":837569222,"character_id":0,"type":1,"position":3,"content":"."},{"id":837569224,"character_id":0,"type":1,"position":3,"content":"."},{"id":837569226,"character_id":0,"type":1,"position":3,"content":"I wished death come to me.."},{"id":837569229,"character_id":0,"type":1,"position":3,"content":"Do us apart.."},{"id":837608433,"character_id":0,"type":1,"position":3,"content":"."},{"id":837608434,"character_id":0,"type":1,"position":3,"content":"."},{"id":837608435,"character_id":0,"type":1,"position":3,"content":"."},{"id":837608436,"character_id":0,"type":1,"position":3,"content":"Finally"},{"id":837608437,"character_id":0,"type":1,"position":3,"content":"It"},{"id":837608438,"character_id":0,"type":1,"position":3,"content":"Did"},{"id":837608439,"character_id":0,"type":1,"position":3,"content":"Us"},{"id":837608440,"character_id":0,"type":1,"position":3,"content":"Apart"},{"id":837608441,"character_id":0,"type":1,"position":3,"content":"."},{"id":837608442,"character_id":0,"type":1,"position":3,"content":"."},{"id":837608443,"character_id":0,"type":1,"position":3,"content":"."},{"id":837608444,"character_id":0,"type":1,"position":3,"content":"It"},{"id":837608445,"character_id":0,"type":1,"position":3,"content":"Saved"},{"id":837608446,"character_id":0,"type":1,"position":3,"content":"Me"},{"id":837608447,"character_id":0,"type":1,"position":3,"content":"."},{"id":837608448,"character_id":0,"type":1,"position":3,"content":"."},{"id":837608449,"character_id":0,"type":1,"position":3,"content":"."},{"id":837608450,"character_id":0,"type":1,"position":3,"content":"."},{"id":837608451,"character_id":17340011,"type":2,"position":1,"content":"I am just trying to show something that I feel is taken for granted in a marriage.. no hate on chanyeol though.. I honestly chose him randomly.. just to portray a character of many real ones who I donu2019t know but are there in this world .. but as I wrote this chapter I donu2019t like my own words.. but I must write it right.. I hope i did..i tried to chose my words carefully, not wanting to make it more disgusting that it already is.. I hated these words.. I guess thatu2019s how I feel about this.."}]}