“I hurt him”

**  Episode-280 “I hurt him”** **   Celeste’s POV:**      It’s been few hours I am sitting here on the deck of this lake. I am hugging my knees… I wiped my tears few times but now I just don’t care.     I moved my hairs away from my face, as I look here and there blankly.. the sun is about to set… and I don’t know what am I thinking…   I shouldn’t have said that him, I know whatever he said or did was right.. I am the one who stood at the wrong corner the entire time… but I couldn’t help it…. suddenly everything got unbearable for me… and I lashed out… I hurt the one who cares for me the most.     I am sorry Ernest….     I want to say this to him, but I have no guts to do this… I don’t….    My phone rang and I noticed my phone on the table.. I stretched my hand to answer it, it’s my Dad.   I answered the call, Dad said, “Cele…. I heard you are on vacation..”  I whispered, “Yes..”   Dad said, “it must be hard for you to move on… but baby, life is all about chance…. Take this chance to smile…..” tear stream down, I couldn’t help it.…   Dad sad again, “just forget everything as a nightmare,… anyways…can you pass the phone to Prince? I need to talk to him about something….”   I broke down into cries, Dad panicked hearing this… he asked, “Cele… what happened? Why are you crying like that?... baby.. talk to me…. ok, girl now I am panicking… talk to me!”   I said in sobs, “Dad…. I… I hurt him… today…… he brought me here to… fix myself but… I said something awful to him… I am really a bad… bad person…. How am I going.. to…” I cried more….    I heard Dad, “Celeste…listen… first… stop crying. And now listen to me… give yourself and him time…. he loves you a lot… he will not be angry on you for long… just make yourself happy he will be happier… ok…”   I nodded and said on the phone, “Ok… I will call you later…. Thanks gangster dad…”   I heard him, “Take care..”    After 30 more minutes, I walked in the house. I don’t see him…. actually I have no guts to face him right now. I decided to get some water for me and maybe cook something for him. but as I went in the kitchen I noticed the food… I sigh… he is thoughtful even when he is angry…. or it’s just me who got selfish this time… I sat there and attempted to eat the food…   The food is good but somehow I couldn’t eat alone especially after what happened…. I remember how he made me have every meal since the miscarriage…. I kept the food as I failed to finish it.       I walked upstairs and I noticed the room is empty…. I stood at the door of the room and just tried to find a way to make everything ok.      I got in the room, and looked around since I didn’t see much when he was showing me around earlier. I walked to the huge window as I see a figure running on the beach under the street light.   Ernest is running at this hour, he must be really hurt and angry. I let a deep exhale… I messed up things… really messed up.     Even when we fight he never leaves me alone for whole day, he finds a way to contact me or talk to me…. he keeps his anger aside… but this time… things are different… I don’t know how will I fix this or even say sorry.    I got in the bed curling in the comforter thinking to myself.. what can I do to fix this. will he ever talk to me like before… will it be ever be same as before…. I cried to myself.   I see no answer and no path… and somehow I could not forgive myself for being ignorant in case of the baby, only if went to the doctor that day then.. it might be still with us… I am so messed up right now…. I keep making stupid mistakes every time and I don’t know how to answer.