Episode 5

Episode- 5     I went to my home…. I went to bath…. Tried to clean the juice which was sticking  to my body… but the scenes of today were not leaving my mind,,, I was rubbing my skin to clean it and I noticed that my skin was already red…    I took a deep breath and went out of shower… I was in my rode… I was in front of the mirror looking at my own reflection…. Not knowing what to do…. I went to the kitchen and grabbed a knife….. I really wanted get rid of all of this  at once…..     I wanted cut myself because I am tired of being judged for who I am and for who I can’t be….. will all of this end at once I did this…. not a little cut but a large one…. So all of my blood will drain out of my body… and I could sleep in  peace… no one will be shameful of me… no one will feel guilty for having child like me,,,, no one will hate me like he does…. I will be free……..     But I want to live,,, like other people do,,,, just like everybody else……. I kept the knife and walked to the bed…. I don’t care if I eat or not…. right now I just want to close my eyes before I do something to myself…….    Next morning I woke up,,,, and got ready for the work…. I went to work and continued my regular schedule… my business was doing great and today we had lots of sale.      My phone rang, I answered after seeing my mother’s name on screen. I said, “Hello…. mom”     My mother: Finally you have time to pick up my call,,,, anyways come here in 1 hour,,, there is going to be a family lunch,,,     I replied, “I can’t,,,, I am busy.” The truth is I don’t want to go.    My mom said: Everyone is busy,, you have to come…. Your sister wants to talk something……you are coming…… I don’t want to disappoint Ruth      So, they want me there just because Ruth called this meeting,,,,, she cut the call…… and I though  do they really care about me at least one….. just once……..     But I will not go,,,, I have my own life to deal with,,, I will be just caring about myself…. I am going to be mean…….      It was lunch time…. But I was still working in store as other staff were having a break…… Tina came to me and she said, “Let’s have lunch.”     She was pouting,,, she can’t handle hunger,,, I nodded and we ordered some food from nearby restaurant…. It was her who was ordering…    But the food arrived…. I was surprised to see Ron… he is our good friend… we meet quite often… I smiled…. I said, “How are you here?.... I thought you were busy.”    Ron said while putting the food down on table, “Well,,, I am not that busy for my friends,,,, come on you ordered food from my restaurant without me… I am upset…”    Tina said playfully, “But we are not sorry.” We all laughed and were eating our food.     I said, “Your restaurant always have good food,,,,,,,,, that’s why I am getting fat…..”     Ron said while winking, “Getting chubby is a good thing…. anyways you are getting skinny.” We were just cracking jokes and enjoying our food…. But it was disturbed by  my phone bussing.    It was a unknown number but I answered it…. I said, “Hello….” Not sure what to say….    Unknown Person said rudely, “Where are you?”    I said while getting confused, “Mr…. who are you?”     Unknown person said, “I am Edwin Gray… remember me?”