“take responsibility 2”

    Episode- 124 “take responsibility 2”     Alisa’s POV:             I thought for a moment and I am scared, panicking… how can I be what grandpa asks me to be… I took a deep sigh and said, “Grandpa… please ask Ruth to do this… she is smarter and capable than me…. and I am the worst option for being head of the company… not only I am lacking but.. I am Edwin Grays legal wife.. he will have authority over our company if I am the head… I don’t want him to have any more control over me or my family or our company… please ask Ruth and you know I am not that person.. I want a simple life and I am good with my store… please…. Please don’t leave us,, stay with us forever please” I pleaded the last part… I really don’t want to leave my store or give Edwin any chance to use to me..    Grandpa thought for a moment but soon he gave up and said, “Fine… but you have to free yourself if he hurts you… as I failed to protect you but you have to be strong… so I can see both you and Ruth happy… that’s last wish of this old man… and please rethink about company” I smiled and kissed Grandpa’s hand as I love him for caring about someone like me. while leaving the hospital I looked at grandma for a brief moment she was in tears and I had no courage to go to her again make her even more trouble… and I know dad thinks the same his eyes are telling me this.. I just left without saying anything .        I am feeling like I don’t deserve to live. I directly or indirectly cause harm to people… like it was not enough that I was miserable in my own life. I was the reason grandpa was in this state… because of me everyone is suffering… I should just vanish… but what grandpa asked me to do… is impossible… I am never going to company… I am ok as I am… I don’t want that… if they say I am mean and selfish then so it be… but I am never returning there… and anyways dad always wants Ruth in there … he is my father I can’t stand crushing his dreams……      I returned mansion, now I am sitting here hopelessly looking at the wall, I was hugging my knees and I am resting my back against the bed on the cold floor… what should I do?... I feel bad to disappoint grandpa… he asked one thing after doing all this for someone like me instead of ignoring me like them… but I rejected his offer… but I can’t go there and take the place which was not mine and I don’t want that…. But I am worried about his health… because of me he ended up like this… he almost died….. it’s better if I stay away… I wiped my tear and hugged my knees more…       I woke up on bed, I checked the time and it’s already 5 in the morning……….  But I was on the floor last night. I closed my eyes again but I can’t sleep, Grandpa’s health is still bothering me…  I went to bathroom and freshen myself… I searched for water in my room but I ran out…. I walked to the kitchen and pulled a water bottle…. After drinking water… I turned to stairs to my room but I saw Edwin walking down… it’s so early he is awake.. but I feel this hate to him as I remember grandpa.. same as grandma feels for me… it’s human nature….     But his presence makes me nervous, I walked passing by… I heard him, “Come to living room… I need to talk.” He walked passing me but grabbed my hand gently… he is warm to me…    He made sit on the sofa and sat beside me. his hand trace down my checks and I am just confused to know why he is like this….. he hugged me, why do I feel warm and like I belong here in his arms..     We parted and he pushed my hairs back and asked, “What is wrong with you?”      I was surprised… am I that easy to read. I whispered, “Nothing.”    He said again and his voice was harsh than before, “Your grandfather got old….. and it doesn’t matter if the person is old or young… no one can stop death… if he is destined to die he will…. There is nothing to do for you than accept the fact and learn to live, Alisa……. There is no meaning in torturing yourself .. I don’t like seeing you like this” He rarely says my name but when he does he is serious af.