“waking up”

     Episode- 133 “waking up”     Alisa’s POV:            I feel numb all over my body, like it doesn’t exist… I opened my eyes and my vision was still blur…  my eyes finally fixed and I looked around the room… I remember last thing was cutting myself and the pain I got from it… but I am not dead, I can feel the pain,,,, why? Am I not dead…….    I noticed someone was holding my hand in his… I looked out of the window it was dark… I looked at this person and I know it’s Edwin… his face was resting on his other hand on the bed while he was still holding my hand while he was sleep… he looks tired……   I move my hand from his  while I tried to sit and this made him awake in instant…. He looked at me and hugged me tight… like I will disappear any moment … we stayed like that for few minutes… he let me go and touched my cheeks, “You know how to cause trouble…” he looks tired and lifeless..    I looked down, he wiped my tear and said, “You are not allowed to do what you did… do you know how long you were sleeping… it’s been 3 days…” 3 days… I am sleeping for three days… but he himself is about to cry I can see his tearful eyes, his voice is also weird…. And I am just staring at him expressionlessly.        He made me look at him and said, “Didn’t  I warn you about cutting yourself?... how dare you go against me?” he said this with hint of anger….     I don’t know why but I whispered, “Sorry”… why… I shouldn’t be sorry, he caged me…. wasn’t he responsible for this….    He almost screamed, “Sorry?.... if I could just punch you… you would be dead… I warn you don’t ever do this kind of stupid thing again… remember there is a old man who will pay for it.” he was warning me but I don’t feel like it’s a warning… but more like a plead or I am just hallucinating … about grandpa….. yea he is right… I just tried to kill myself…. what will grandpa do if he knows… he will break into pieces… he is already on the hospital bed because of me and now this… how can you be just this stupid Alisa… how can I be this selfish…      I asked Edwin , “How is grandpa?” he looked at me with anger and then sigh. He answered, “He is fine… they discharge him from hospital… don’t worry he did not know about your stupid action… or you could have just attended his funeral.”    He gave me a glass of water and then called someone, maybe a doctor…. I was in relief that he didn’t told grandpa….. I promise I  will never act this stupid I have some people who are my responsibility.       I was looking at my bandage hand, then Edwin took my hand gently and asked with concern, “Does it hurt, little dove?”    He cares for me, maybe really cares for me…. he has emotions like others do…. maybe some part of him is human… I whispered, “No….”   He touched my cheek and asked, “Do you feel bad?... I asked them to bring food… do you need anything else…”     He is completely different person, who is the real Edwin?.... I said, “I want to see grandpa.”    He played with my hair locks and said bit annoyed, “If you won’t have didn’t did this stupidity then you might be working in your store by now… even can visit that old man… I originally plan the punishment for 3 days… but you stupid head made it for more….”     I asked with hope, “You mean I can work?” so, he planned scare me by caging me for few days but I couldn’t take it… but is he in the place to play with me… no… never…..      He nodded and said, “But not now… not until you  recover…… according to doctor and me…”   so, he was just trying to scare me by saying he will never allow me to go out…. But maybe be he did too much… whatever… I can finally go out after doctor tell him that I am fine…..      After doctor checkup, I finally understand what he was saying about his and doctors approval… Doctor told me that I need one week rest at least…. But Edwin Gray suggested I  need more 2 rest…. This means I have to stay here doing nothing for like 9 days… this sucks….. he is suddenly overprotective    I  glared at him as the doctor leave… I looked away as he directed his face to me… a maid put food in front of me…. I have to say it’s past midnight he asked the maids to bring food at this moments…. He is annoying         He sat in front of me and said, “Eat” he is annoying. I am not in mood to eat… he started feeding me… I moved back at first but then his ice cold face told me that I should listen to him….. he wiped my lips with his fingers  in between.. this is making me feel weird in my stomach… he is annoying…..        I was just looking at him entire time… he is surely good looking, his hairs appear smooth and perfect… he looks more charming while feeding me… but I know this is all delusion… he is Edwin… the same Edwin I know but maybe can be less bitter sometimes….