“I can’t stop loving him”

Episode- 148 “I can’t stop loving him”   Alisa’s POV:    I am embarrassed to face him after that day… but he didn’t return home either and that made me ignore him easily… I still can’t get over the fact that  I almost slept with him… I shake my head to get rid of these thought…. What happened that day was a mistake and I hope I won’t do it again…   It’s weekend and I have a appointment with Ruth at 4 pm… she send me the address of the café….. I fixed my hair and walked to open the door hoping I won’t see Edwin today…. I just can’t face him    I walked through the mansion with heavy steps and finally made  it to the car… I let a long sigh…. I checked the phone as I as reaching the café…   I looked at Tina’s text and I smiled as I read the text… ‘Happy Birthday my girl… let’s have a meal together, you free right?’ she messaged me in the morning ….  and today is my birthday. She is the only one to remember it,,,, not even my parents…. Not even Edwin… why will he remember it…. anyways I am used to it… anyways I  like to be alone then I won’t have any chance of getting hurt   I was sitting in this café… waiting for Ruth.. she choose a expensive place. After like 15 minutes of waiting I decided to call her but she didn’t answer. is she doing this on purpose?    I decided to wait of few more minutes. She arrived after 10 more minutes… she saw their throwing her shades on the table. Ruth ordered for herself… she is acting like I don’t exist…  I am sure she don’t remember it’s my birthday…. But anyways I am not here for that… I am here to know what is going on with her…    She finally said, “What?... aren’t you going to speak?.. why did you call me?”   I sigh and then looked at her and said, “Are you fine?”   She raised her eyebrow and laughed, “what do you think? I am more than fine…”   I replied, “I am not talking about your looks but are you fine…. Grandpa told me … you are not your usual self… you don’t come out of room… you don’t talk to anyone… are you really fine?... I am worried…”    She smirked and I can see she is acting bold,  she said, “you are boring I am going… I will pay for the bill, since it would be out of your wallet..”   She then said, “What I am even saying?.. you are his wife… nothing is expensive for you… he must have gave you a card of his… are you having fun spending his money?”  she looked away… but her words hurt…   I asked, “Are you like this because you still love him?”   She looked at me on my words… I asked again, “You still love Edwin…” her teary eyes tell me that I am right… and I somehow hated this fact and feel bad for Ruth… I feel like criminal here..   I added, “Yes.. you love him.. that’s why you asked him to be your fake boyfriend,.. that’s why you stick in that relation for years… that’s why you changed in these day… you love him..”   She didn’t said anything for a while.. then she said, “I love him… but he doesn’t… I gave up.. but I can’t stop loving him, but chasing isn’t my style….” I couldn’t take it anymore… I got from my seat and said, “Please take care of grandpa… mom and grandma won’t like me in that house… so please… do me this favor…” I walked out of the café with tears in my eyes… I hate how I am married to a person whom my sister loves… how I feel pain about her loving him… how I am hurt because she is heartbroken…    I looked at the sky it’s already filled with red and orange colour… the sun is about drown in night.. but I don’t want to return… I can’t face him like that… I feel like a criminal for steal the person whom my sister loves… and I hate the thing that she loves him… why it has to be Edwin whom she loves … and Edwin himself loves someone… and I am here stuck in between these things… if I was not here things would be different…    I looked at the bracelet he gave me,… I wear it every single day along with the ring I don’t know why… I haven’t  removed it from my hand after he made me wear it… even though it means nothing to him… at last I am the one who is selfish… I am the one who is responsible for my sisters and grandpa’s this condition… I am so selfish… I cried out as I was walking… I just cry… what else I can do…..