Fear of rejection

 **  Episode- 159 Fear of rejection** **    Alisa’s POV:         **   … I teased, “Catch me if you can…”   But soon he trapped me again and pulled me into the water with him…. soon, I realized I was in deep water.. almost near my shoulders…. He was still griping on my waist..… he kissed my back and said, “Tell me what should I do… to this trouble maker dove….”      I said out as I hold into him, “I can’t swim… water is too deep.”     He smirked and said, “Don’t worry… I won’t let you die before punishing you for tricking me…”  I am getting nervous as his hands are touching my body under water…he lifted me in water and walked to the shore…  he put me down when water was around my waist…..   I said out with a pout, “It’s your fault… you started it” he was holding into my wait… I noticed the fabric of my top was sticking to my body… he looked at me and to my wet body… the atmosphere is not playful anymore… it is much more intense that it is causing me shiver in excitement … I noticed his shirt is also sticking to his body giving it perfect view of his abs and hard chest……   He whispered seductively, “then I should be the one to end it… huu?” he raised his eyebrow… his eyes were getting dark in desire I can sense it… and I am not scared of it….    He moved close… almost sticking to my body… his chest was touching my body…. My breath was stuck in my throat, I want him to touch me,,,, something is wrong with me… but I don’t care…. he was staring at me… Edwin raised his hand to touch my cheeks…  he placed his hand on my cheeks and he moved close to me… his face is getting close… he is about touch my lips with his and I am waiting …. I am desperate…. But he stopped… he moved back and the I saw his looking away from me… he walked out of the water and walked away on the shore… I saw his walking to the house… he left me here like this….    I stood in water thinking what went wrong… am I that undesirable?..... that he don’t want me…. I walked out of the water and picked the towel that he had in the bag… I wipe my face and may be my tears… but this rejection isn’t new to me…  I always got reject…. From my family and from him…. I said to myself, “Don’t cry… please.” I took a deep breath and sat there not knowing what to do… I surely cannot face him right now… it’s better if I say on the shore for a while… till I can gather myself…..   I sat their hugging my knees not know how long…. But it’s surely more than 30 minutes… I don’t mind my hair and clothes being wet….. this feeling of getting rejected is eating me… this is what I fear most….       **  Edwin’s POV:**   I was about to lose control…. In moved back as I remember her being unwilling yesterday… I don’t want to force her… I walked out of water and straight walked out without having second  glance at her… I know if I see her again I might lose control and do something that will hurt her… I don’t want to satisfy my desire for her forcefully… I want her if she is willing to give it to me…..   I walked into room and had a cold shower to end my desires…. I screamed at myself for being this fool and changing everything as it was before… she was playful and happy with me earlier but I turned everything to awkward… she would be uncomfortable around me again… shit!... how can you be this stupid Edwin….    It’s been more than 40 minutes….. I haven’t seen her in the house… I searched for her but she is not in the house…. Is she still on the beach?.... she will be cold…. I ran to the beach and saw her sitting their hugging her knees….  I made her hurt again…    I said, “What are you still here?... go get changed.” She didn’t looked at me instead she looked down……     I picked her up and made her stand, she yanked away from me.. still looking away. I hate when she is like this…. this frustrating, I said out, “I am sorry about earlier…… I know you are not willing for me and you being close…. but I lost control…” this more hard than 100 pages presentation… saying sorry to her…. she looked at me with surprise…… she don’t look sad…