“sign those”

    Episode- 177 “sign those”     Edwin’s POV:       I tried to explain, “Little dove… I understand what are you feeling… but please understand I don’t want you to have any documented relation of us,… so they can’t drag you in this mess… so you could be safe, they won’t harm you if they somehow find anything about you… the divorce will insure that I am not connected to you and they won’t try to pressure me with it… but believe me… I will try to keep all this secret but still I am trying to take precautions.. I can’t lose you..”  She said with anger, “Who are you talking about??... who!!!”    I want to tell her but I can’t drag her in it… I want to keep her away from this mess… I will make sure no one will find about her being my wife or ex-wife… even if they try to find information about me… she has a way to be away from this things unlike me….       I said, “I can’t tell you little dove, just trust me little more… just little.”    She was angry I know, she was crying as well, she pointed her figure at me and said, “Edwin Grey tell me the reason or  if I have to sigh these paper without a proper reason then I will consider you don’t trust me or you are just playing with me..”    I whispered as I shake my head, “No… I am not playing with you… I love you… please understand..”     She walked to Ken snatching the papers in anger and pain, she took the pen and said, “Fine… if you want to get rid of me… I will sign… but then I will never wait for you, *sobs*…. I will not care about you anymore, I will start a  new life with another person… you would be nothing to me… everything between us will end… are you still willing to let me sigh these papers..”    I want to stop her, I want to stop her saying these things to me, but I can’t get emotional now, I need to think about lot of people, I can’t be selfish to let myself be this weak…. I was just staring at her red face and teary eyes..    She asked again, “Tell me you are joking and you don’t want this divorce..”    I gulped my feeling and said as I looked away, “sign those” you being away from me is the best way to keep you safe or a monster like me will destroy you in this fire….     she looked at me with disbelief, she nodded and sigh those papers, god knows I was one step away from making her stop sighing those… I saw her hand moving and signing it in anger and tears.. and I already regret it… but I so not regret my decision… right now I need to have no weakness….      She looked at me and walked upstairs, I took those papers in my hand and want to burn those, instead I sign those and gave it Ken… Ken place his hand on my shoulder…… I turned to see her walking down with her luggage, she was trying not to cry… I can tell that and I am doing the same.. but I do not want her to go, I am giving her this mansion.    She stopped to me and place the ring, the bracelet and the pendant on the table… she looked at me and said dryly, “I do not want anything from you Mr. Edwin Grey… I should be happy you said you will throw me away and you are…  I am free now and you should be happy…” I was looking her as she said those… but I am going listen everything she says and accept it as she right and I am selfish..      She added as her tear fall down, “I won’t wait for you… I will marry someone else, have kids and large family…. I will forget you and your every word…. Don’t show me your face Edwin Grey… I hate you..” her words are hurting me… but I know I hurt her today.. but I have to….          She tried to walk away but I grabbed her hand gently and asked, “Can I hug you little dove?.... just this one time..” I am desperate..    She turned to me and said, “I hate you..” she walked away pushing me back…. I stood their seeing her walk through the door and maybe out of my life but I am going to make her walk in soon…. I promise… whether she waits for me or not… I will wait for her to be in my arms again,,, for now let’s focus on other things….     Ken said, “Are you ok?”   I turned to him and said, “No…”    I said, “Ken make sure to tell me where she goes…. And call Vic….now”      Vic picked the call and I said, “Vic….. I divorced her.”    Vic answered, “You what?”   I said as tear fall down, “She is hurt… I know she won’t be ok… I have to make sure she is safe, that’s why I divorced her… you will know the reason soon… just be her friend and comfort her… call Tina… tell her my Alisa needs her…”    Vic said in anger, “I don’t believe you… Edwin how can you?”    I said with a bitter teary smirk, “I don’t know…. remember I might take some time to return to her, few months or years… take care of her, only as friend Vic…. You remember your promise right… only friend…”    Vic’s silence tells me he is out of words but I have lot to say. I added as I a wiping my tears, “She has habit to eat sweet when she is mad or depressed, make sure she returns home safe… when she is mad play her favorite song…. Make sure she goes to her fav café every week she feels incomplete without it…. she is allergic to peanuts… *voice crack* she loves strawberry ice cream get her those when she misses me, you will know when she will say she hates me… don’t let her drink, she drinks too much when she is angry….. make sure her mom and dad don’t hurt her…. don’t tell her I asked you to do all this… she will hate me…. don’t let her cut herself again, fix some treatment *sobs* she will need it… one more thing…. if you know I died and if don’t return alive,  find her a nice man… what I am even saying… you would be first in line..”     Vic said, “You are crying…. You love her… then why Edwin?.... why are you hurting her and yourself…. You bastard why?” I can tell he is desperate and angry…   I chuckled and said, “may be because I am Arthur…” I cut the call… sometimes you end up hurting yourself and the person you love….. I will return..