“ to keep you safe!!!”

   Episode- 207 “ to keep you safe!!!”    Alisa’s POV:        I said to myself, “He like me for that long then… why… all this” I heard the door opening, I looked at the door with teary eyes and still holding the file… Edwin seemed to surprised to see me there, his eyes landed on the file and then at my face. He locked the door behind him and walked to me as he was looking at the file.. I know he didn’t like me seeing this file, his expression tells me his story… he was angry as well…     He sat beside me and took the file from my hand without any further words, he didn’t looked at me in my eyes…. he got up and locked the file with my passport, visa and my wallet back in the cupboard… right now, I do not care about my things…. I need answers..    He stood as his back was facing me, he said, “You shouldn’t have come here and…” his voice got stuck in his throat as if… he is crying…    I asked, “Why?” I didn’t got any answer… I pulled him to face me and I see anger, but I am more angry on him, I asked, “Juts tell me why the f*ck I shouldn’t be here….”     He warned, “Alisa.. get out now” he was looking in my eyes in anger…    I hit on his chest with all my power, I screamed at him, “Are you even a human??? Hu!!.... does your heart even beats?... you moron!!! How dare you do this to me again and again…  and why are you hiding that file..”   He grabbed my hand and said loudly, “Alisa!!!... I said get out!!!...  I don’t want to talk or explain about my belonging….” I pulled my hand away from his grip..    I screamed as  tears are wetting my cheeks, “your belonging?.... that file has every single detail of my life,, and you are saying it’s your,,,” his eyes are slightly teary… like he has lot to tell…     But this will not stop me, I said, “Edwin!... you can’t just always do this to me… if you loved me then what did you get by doing all this… you were hurting yourself and me just for fun… why?.. why a person like you has to do all this,, why are you this selfish??!!!”    He almost screamed, “TO KEEP YOU SAFE!!!... to f*ckign keep you safe, I was Edwin Grey.. Alisa.. did you forget who am I… I am leader of both business and underworlds.. nothing was safe near me, me choose power of underworld to make sure I was in control over this country.. so I could protect my grandfather without being shown.. nobody knew I was Arthur, but that does not change what I was supposed to do…. do you thing I was safe as Edwin or do you think Arthur was safe… my mom is a fighter, my dad is also a strong man.. they were enough strong to keep them self safe.. but the girl I loved was a pure, innocent girl you can’t even stand up for her rights..” I was looking at him without knowing what to say,,,    He pointed his finger at me in anger and said, “DO you think I didn’t want  to get you in my arms… if they had found a single thing about you would have been dead… I love you the way you  are so I never wanted you to change,,, but if you were with me since I know you, I need to be 24/7 around you to make sure you were safe… and it was not fcking possible!!!! Do you think I enjoyed doing all this to us all these year.. I did this so I could keep you alive.. so you won’t F*ckign die!!! So I won’t f*ckign lose you!!!.. and you are being angry on me for the divorce, then listen if it never happened, you were there first pray… they even tried to kill grandpa, mom, dad and me… they would have taken you in my absence!, rped you!, abused you!, torture you to make me on my knees and they would have killed you!.. do you think I would be ok with it… no!!!!! I couldn’t afford it and I don’t regret my single actions till now….”    His voice is getting louder every time as if it all was bothering him, my heart is getting heaver by everything he said, I am sniffing as he is saying all this, but he didn’t stop, he kept saying, “I don’t regret my actions till now.. and I can do all of that again to keep you alive!... you are still not safe as my future Queen but I am enough strong to keep you safe, I can keep you with me forever…and you are acting like this..”    I whispered in tears and anger, “You will do it again?... means you can throw me out of your life again and what am I supposed to do? hu?!!!”  I don’t care about me being in danger..    He looked in my eyes and said, “You are suppose to wait for me…. you are suppose to live good life…. Alisa, do you think I don’t feel what you feel.. then you are wrong.. I have to make myself go through hell to make you sign those divorce papers, but I did that.. because I wanted you to live.. I can do anything to keep you safe and alive… my love is just not keeping you near me.. but means that you need to be safe and happy even if I am not a part of you.. that’s what all this means … but you won’t understand this… you are just mad about that divorce.. and not giving you the reason.. but ask yourself would you had agreed for the divorce when you knew all of this… you are just being idiot right now” he turned his back to me as he was looking at the closet as he moved his hands through his hairs in anger and frustration.. and he is scolding me for no reason…    I hit his back few time but he didn’t react.. I screamed, “What do you want me to do?.. be happy about all of this… so what I never wanted the divorce… you are calling me ‘idiot’…. are you thinking yourself as a great man.. no!.. you are a mean person… you were always mean to me… you made me hate you then you tortured me.. I was hating you when you became sweet gentle and loving…  *sob*you made me love you again  and then broke my heart when I trust you… and you ask me to act normal… maybe you are a person who can control his emotions but I…*sob* I am  normal girl, wanting normal relation.. how dare you manipulate my feelings so many time that I get confused myself… you are mean..”  he didn’t turned to me.. he didn’t even responded to me…        I got close to him and stood right behind him, I asked, “why…. Why Edwin… or should I say Arthur…. You loved me for so long… but instead of letting me love you, I was pushed aside… I loved you Edwin… as I wanted to be with you… the thought that you hated me killed me… I tried to kill myself first when you said you hate me at my parent’s place… I was so depressed about your rejection that I felt worthless…. But you were hurt yourself… why do you need to keep me safe….. and now you want me to be normal… this normal reaction of a girl!!!”       I sense his back stretched, his muscle tighten as I said I tried to kill myself.. I added, “Edwin… if I was going to die if I am with you then let me die…. I will die anyways without you… do you have any idea how I felt when you left me…. *sob* I know you didn’t felt good either… don’t you hate leaving me?… I can’t imagine how you must have felt all these years…. Edwin… *voice cracks* was throwing me away was the only way to keep me safe… I hate you for thinking as Arthur… Arthur is hurting both Alisa and Edwin… why can’t we be like other couples… what did you gain by hiding all of this pain to yourself… if I am suppose to die then let me die in your arms… can’t you see I was happy with you around me… all I need you to live.. I h-”     Before   I could say any future, he turned in instant and hugged with all his power, I lost my balance and we both landed on the bed… but he was still hugging me, burying his face in my neck… I feel my neck wet.. is he crying… I was crying too.. I was hugging him subconsciously…