“is this why you are behaving like this?”

   Episode- 226 “is this why you are behaving like this?”             Alisa’s POV:       I have a light head ache, so I am just taking medicines for hangover…. Why did I drunk so much?... I was in bad mood because of that hate and then that Lee was like bonus… everything went extra yesterday.. but I hope I didn’t did anything stupid yesterday… Edwin is looking at me as he is having breakfast…      He asked, “You ok?”  he seemed to be concerned and loving at the same time..   I shake my head in ‘no’, the head ache is killing me, I gulped some water  and said, “I will quit drinking.. I hate hangovers…” he was sitting beside me and he was concerned, he pushed my hairs away from the my face and the maids are looking at each other as they serves food…. I signaled him about the maids, he glared at them in instant and they walked out…. This is embarrassing, he is flirty in front of everyone… he pulled his phone and  he said, “I will call doctor..” I chuckled and said, “who calls doctor for hangover…,,, don’t!” I stopped him.. he patted my head and said, “Well we can be the first…”  I grabbed his hand and said,  “NO.. please….”, he nods… I looked at the breakfast, I really don’t want to eat.. I should lose weight…. Edwin said, “lets finish the breakfast… maybe it will fix your mood…” he started eating, I just pretending to be into it.. but I will not eat… I need to be perfect in front of him… I need to look slim and good….    I was startled by his question, “Why are you not eating… you didn’t eat much yesterday…. Come on eat it….” he noticed… I smiled at him and said, “I don’t feel like eating now… I will eat after the head ache goes…” I can’t let him know…. his eyes narrowed, he asked, “are you hiding something…” sh*t… I smiled and said, “are you my mom… I promise.. I am just not hungry,… this head ache is really bad…. I will eat as soon as I feel good…” he was still looking at me as if he don’t believes me, I formed another smiled and said, “aren’t you getting late…. don’t worry about me… nothing is wrong, I will tell you if something bothers me…” he nodded and continued eating…. I internally sigh.. that was a save.. he won’t like it if he finds I am on diet…            I saw Ken walking in through the door, I smiled at him, he greeted me… well he greats me as Queen even though I asked him not to… I said, “Good morning… Ken sit and have some breakfast….” Edwin took the file from Ken and opened it immediately… he started reading it..        Ken said, “Thanks but… I already had breakfast,…” Edwin got busy, I asked Ken again, “Tina.. is she ok now… I tried her phone but she is not picking up…. I was about to go to your house… but I don’t know the address…”  I am worried about her… she is with child now.. and has a baby too…    Ken replied, “She is fine.. it’s just Noel has little fever.. so she slept late.. but now both of them are sleeping peacefully.. Noel is also good..” she must me worried… she is good mom..    I smiled and said, “That’s good…”        Ken turned to Edwin and said, “Sir… we need to go….. we have a meeting…” Edwin nodded and got up, he hugged me before leaving… I waved at him and said, “Work hard…”  I saw him walking to the door… I looked at the food, I am hungry but I don’t want to eat… I shouldn’t I need to be beautiful…  I will be the perfect women for him…. I should distract myself… I picked my phone as I sat there…    I went through my phone again so I can distract myself…, but I saw some messages.. someone dm me.. I mean not one or two people more than 5000….  They are not the people I know.. I checked it and all of them are hate… only hate…. Some are calling me sl*t, h*e, gold digger, ft bitch… and the words that are insulting… some are threatening to kill me, rpe me if I not leave Edwin…. Some are telling to die, leave him… that I don’t deserve him… why do they hate me this much.. this is crushing me down…   I never realized when these tears are formed in my eyes,, but I never stopped reading it… I did nothing wrong then why do they hate me this much.. do I really don’t deserve this… I sniffed to myself….     The phone got snatched away from me,  I looked at the person in surprise with teary eyes, Edwin was going through the text as his eyes are getting darker in anger every moment, didn’t he left already…. this is bad, I tried to take the phone away but he just said without much expressions, “Stop…” I went silent and looked at him, I have no courage to tell him not to look…. He is getting angry…       I can feel his grip getting tight around the phone, he looked at me with stone cold angry expression, he asked, “Is this is why you are behaving like this?” Ken was standing behind Edwin, looking at both of us in surprise…    I didn’t replied to Edwin just looked down as I tried to wipe my tears.. what was I going to answer anyways I have nothing to say…. He asked again this time he was much more angry, “Are you starving because if these peoples…” I didn’t answer… Edwin almost screamed in anger, “Answer!” I feel miserable to tell him how I feel.. I looked at him in tears and replied, “I.. I want to be.. perfect… for you…” His eyes get more cold but I know he is angry on me as well….     Edwin passed my phone to Ken and said, “Search these accounts… I want every detail about them…” He looked at me again, he is angry… he grabbed my hand and pulled me through the corridor… I grasped but I followed lowering my head… he is dragging me nonstop, I can feel his anger…   He pushed me in the room and locked it behind him… I stood there looking at him, he pulled me in front of the mirror and pulled my chin up so I was facing my own reflection..he stood beside me… I was in tear and he was angry and emotional..    He said, “Look at this women in the mirror… and tell me what part of her do you find not perfect…”  I looked in the mirror being helpless.. he said again, “because I find her perfect… her eyes, her face, her hair.. her smile her body her personality, her heart, her mind.. everything is perfect… my little dove is beautiful to me, I don’t need anyone’s judgment” I looked at him as I couldn’t help but turn to him, he grabbed my shoulders and said, “Who allowed to shame yourself just because of some unknown people… who allowed to starve yourself..”     I hurt him again, his eyes are slightly teary.. I hurt him again… I was in tears I whispered, “I am sorry….” His expressions soften, he placed his hand on my cheeks and said, “Hey.. you don’t need to be someone who you are not… I like you the way you are… you are perfect.. there is no one better than you… these people are harassing you, you shouldn’t listen to them… you could have just told me… please don’t this anymore…” his hands are making me feel comforted his eyes are telling me I am loved and perfect…    I sniffed as I said, “I am… sorry…” he hugged me and said, “Listen carefully.. next time if you act this stupid there will be consequences….. don’t hurt yourself… I promise I will not let any of those go easily… but you please love yourself for me, you are perfect. don’t let these useless things make you sad….” I can’t help but shred tears,, I hugged him tighter…. I buried myself into him and said, “why.. they hate me… I did nothing wrong.. it hurts..” I felt him hugging me tighter, he patted my head as he said, “shhhu… it’s fine…” I sobbed more in his arms, I know I am making him see my weak side, but when I tell him it feels relaxing and good… like the troubles will disappear soon…  I felt him kissing my head….    He pulled away and wiped my tears with his thumb, he said, “remember… you just need to look at only me… don’t think of them… you are perfect… just love me and yourself.. ok…” I nodded as I sniffed.. Edwin hugged me again saying, “love you….” I whispered, “I love you…” I just want to hug him all my life.. I want to escape from the this and be with him.. I want to stay in his comforting protective arms.. were I have no reason to fear, he will love me just the way I am…