Insufficient

{"messages":[{"id":1001263200,"character_id":0,"type":1,"position":0,"content":"RECAP"},{"id":1001263201,"character_id":0,"type":1,"position":0,"content":""Vencolli" i read one last time realising that i was just a spacegoat which my father had used."},{"id":1001263202,"character_id":0,"type":1,"position":0,"content":"My body quivered in fear as I sat down in a puddle of blood hugging my knees closer to my chest, and i wished only if i wasn’t born or if only i wasn’t born to be a vampire, to be a demon, to be a monster, only if i didn’t existed then none of this would have happened. My existence was the one to blame."},{"id":1001263203,"character_id":0,"type":1,"position":0,"content":"Cursed, cursed, cursed cursed, my mind repeated itself."},{"id":1001263204,"character_id":0,"type":1,"position":0,"content":"That’s right, i was cursed, i was a cursed existence."},{"id":1001263205,"character_id":0,"type":1,"position":0,"content":"."},{"id":1001263206,"character_id":0,"type":1,"position":0,"content":"."},{"id":1001263207,"character_id":0,"type":1,"position":0,"content":"."},{"id":1001263208,"character_id":0,"type":1,"position":0,"content":"PRESENT TIME"},{"id":1001263209,"character_id":0,"type":1,"position":0,"content":"Taehyung abruptly opened his eyes as he sit up on the bed while clutching onto his chest and breathing heavily. Due to sudden rough pull of blanket, it caused jungkook sleeping beside him to break out of his slumber as well as he rubbed his eye while elevating his upper body and hazily looked at an elder."},{"id":1001263210,"character_id":0,"type":1,"position":0,"content":"It was morning outside and the window of taehyung’s room was covered with blinds as usual, a portrait of themselves which they had gotten done in helzmere was hanging on the wall opposite to bed. After getting back from the club last night, taehyung drove off to his house and had couple of rounds of su00e8x with the younger as promised, jungkook ended up being exhausted and crashed here afterwards. Both of them were half naku00e8d from above the waist under blanket, jungkook had borrowed taehyung’s pajamas for one night and cuddled in his arms while peacefully falling asleep."},{"id":1001263211,"character_id":0,"type":1,"position":0,"content":"Jungkook furrowed his brows in confusion as he stared at the elder panting before clearing the sleep from his vision and speaking up concernfully by keeping one hand on taehyung’s back."},{"id":1001263212,"character_id":22754514,"type":2,"position":2,"content":"Taehyung, are you okay?"},{"id":1001263213,"character_id":22796991,"type":2,"position":1,"content":"(Younger’s voice and touch made him snap out of his vulnerable and anxious state to some extent as he cleared his dry throat and met jungkook’s gaze)"},{"id":1001263214,"character_id":22796991,"type":2,"position":1,"content":"Yeah, I’m fine."},{"id":1001263215,"character_id":0,"type":1,"position":0,"content":"He breathed out, beads of sweat on his forehead and jungkook continued to stare at him with worry while sitting up straight."},{"id":1001263216,"character_id":22754514,"type":2,"position":2,"content":"Are you sure?"},{"id":1001263217,"character_id":22754514,"type":2,"position":2,"content":"It doesn’t look like it to me."},{"id":1001263218,"character_id":0,"type":1,"position":0,"content":"He pointed out, studying elder’s slightly panicked behaviour and gently squeezed his shoulder."},{"id":1001263219,"character_id":22796991,"type":2,"position":1,"content":"I-I’m okay."},{"id":1001263220,"character_id":0,"type":1,"position":0,"content":"Taehyung stuttered, looking away and covering his face in his palms before rubbing it, touching the bridge of his nose to calm himself down and uncovering it again as he let out a sigh. It has been a while since he got these flashbacks so vivid and real, like he was reliving those memories once again and felt his body tremble from head to toe."},{"id":1001263221,"character_id":0,"type":1,"position":0,"content":"Jungkook’s concern only grew with each second as he looked into elder’s eyes and caressed his face with one hand."},{"id":1001263222,"character_id":22754514,"type":2,"position":2,"content":"Taehyung, if there’s anything that’s bothering you then you can tell me."},{"id":1001263223,"character_id":0,"type":1,"position":0,"content":"And then it hit taehyung..... What is he doing? Who he is trying to be? What is his existence? Where does he belongs to? What is his sole purpose of living in this endless life? Has his past sins washed away? No, the blood is still visible to him on his hands. How would jungkook react if he came to know the reality of him back in those days, will he accept him the same way he does right now? No, he shouldn’t, he doesn’t deserve to be accepted."},{"id":1001263224,"character_id":0,"type":1,"position":0,"content":"Various thoughts bombarded taehyung’s mind as uneasiness settled inside him while he stared at the pair of doe eyes looking at him, feeling the warmth of jungkook’s hand on his cold face which scared him, horrified him, he never wants that warmth to go away yet he’s afraid that it will vanish.....even worst he might destroy it himself coz of how much of a monster he is. What is jungkook doing with him? He shouldn’t be here with him right now."},{"id":1001263225,"character_id":22754514,"type":2,"position":2,"content":"Taehyung."},{"id":1001263226,"character_id":22754514,"type":2,"position":2,"content":"Taehyung, are you okay?"},{"id":1001263227,"character_id":0,"type":1,"position":0,"content":"Jungkook asked calling elder’s name probably the fourth time and brought him back to the reality once again as taehyung gulped with shaky breath and removed younger’s hands from his face before standing up from bed while jungkook stared up at him in puzzlement yet in hurt as his hands came to rest on his lap."},{"id":1001263228,"character_id":22754514,"type":2,"position":2,"content":"Taehyung."},{"id":1001263229,"character_id":0,"type":1,"position":0,"content":"He called once again, tension visible in his voice."},{"id":1001263230,"character_id":22796991,"type":2,"position":1,"content":"I’m fine."},{"id":1001263231,"character_id":22796991,"type":2,"position":1,"content":"You-you should go back home. Don’t you have college today?"},{"id":1001263232,"character_id":0,"type":1,"position":0,"content":"Jungkook suddenly heard taehyung saying as he gave him a reluctant nod."},{"id":1001263233,"character_id":22754514,"type":2,"position":2,"content":"Yes i have."},{"id":1001263234,"character_id":22796991,"type":2,"position":1,"content":"Then it’s almost about time. You should leave, or else you’ll be late."},{"id":1001263235,"character_id":0,"type":1,"position":0,"content":"Taehyung stated the obvious as the younger stared at him for a while but nodded nonetheless before standing up and wearing his sweater which was laying on an armchair while taehyung looked at anywhere except him."},{"id":1001263236,"character_id":0,"type":1,"position":0,"content":"He shoved the phone down in his pajamas pocket as taehyung held the doorknob open for him, jungkook sighed and despite of the ache in his heart he prioritised to know what’s behind elder’s sudden change in behaviour, he knew taehyung was just pretending to be okay even if he wasn’t."},{"id":1001263237,"character_id":0,"type":1,"position":0,"content":"He exhaled as he proceeded forward, halted his feets reaching the already opened door and looked at taehyung standing beside it."},{"id":1001263238,"character_id":22754514,"type":2,"position":2,"content":"You sure-"},{"id":1001263239,"character_id":22796991,"type":2,"position":1,"content":"I’m fine."},{"id":1001263240,"character_id":0,"type":1,"position":0,"content":"Taehyung strongly replied this time, as jungkook halfly being convinced cupped elder’s face and tightly kissed his lips before looking at him while taehyung remained still."},{"id":1001263241,"character_id":22754514,"type":2,"position":2,"content":"Bye."},{"id":1001263242,"character_id":22796991,"type":2,"position":1,"content":"Bye."},{"id":1001263243,"character_id":0,"type":1,"position":0,"content":"Jungkook retreated his hands and nodded before hesitantly walking out as he heard the door shutting from behind. He couldn’t process what just happened but also he couldn’t bring himself upto pester the elder anymore, not when he looked so impuissant and looked like he needed some space in alone. Till this date, he still can’t figure out taehyung, it hurts him sometimes yet he choose to be with him, being with him feels like he is living in a mystery, what wounds him the most is that taehyung always pushes him away."},{"id":1001263244,"character_id":0,"type":1,"position":0,"content":"Yet he didn’t wanted to intervene so he lousily moved downstairs where yoongi and jimin were bickering."},{"id":1001263245,"character_id":23066298,"type":2,"position":1,"content":"I’ll slit his throat this time, how dare he take the car away himself and abandon us like that?"},{"id":1001263246,"character_id":0,"type":1,"position":0,"content":"Yoongi rasped as jimin sighed while sitting on dinning table."},{"id":1001263247,"character_id":22797352,"type":2,"position":1,"content":"You’re just making a big deal out of it."},{"id":1001263248,"character_id":22797352,"type":2,"position":1,"content":"They got carried away and took the car and we did got the ride back home in jin hyung’s car anyways."},{"id":1001263249,"character_id":22797352,"type":2,"position":1,"content":"Moreover, why does a mere car is bothering your vampire u00e0ss?"},{"id":1001263250,"character_id":23066298,"type":2,"position":1,"content":"My identity has nothing to do here, how could he leave us alone in the middle of fcking club-"},{"id":1001263251,"character_id":0,"type":1,"position":0,"content":"Yoongi stopped as both of them looked towards the stairs after hearing jungkook’s footsteps and saw a very upset boy coming down with his head ducked."},{"id":1001263252,"character_id":0,"type":1,"position":0,"content":"Yoongi and jimin exchanged a glance before looking back at jungkook."},{"id":1001263253,"character_id":22797352,"type":2,"position":1,"content":"Erm, hey jungkook. Wanna have a breakfast with me?"},{"id":1001263254,"character_id":0,"type":1,"position":0,"content":"Jimin asked brightly from behind as jungkook slowly walked past through him towards the door."},{"id":1001263255,"character_id":22754514,"type":2,"position":2,"content":"No thanks, jimin hyung. I’ll be late for college."},{"id":1001263256,"character_id":0,"type":1,"position":0,"content":"He plainly replied and exited the door as yoongi and jimin exchanged a glance and shrugged."},{"id":1001263257,"character_id":22797352,"type":2,"position":1,"content":"You better not say anything to taehyung, yoongi."},{"id":1001263258,"character_id":22797352,"type":2,"position":1,"content":"I think something happened between these two."},{"id":1001263259,"character_id":0,"type":1,"position":0,"content":"Jimin said as yoongi agreeingly nodded and sat on a chair opposite to him, uttering a...."},{"id":1001263260,"character_id":23066298,"type":2,"position":1,"content":"I won’t."},{"id":1001263261,"character_id":0,"type":1,"position":0,"content":"As both of them looked upstairs at taehyung’s room, only anticipating what could be going inside."},{"id":1001263262,"character_id":0,"type":1,"position":0,"content":"***************************************"},{"id":1001263263,"character_id":0,"type":1,"position":0,"content":"At stonewall college, 12:30 pm"},{"id":1001263264,"character_id":0,"type":1,"position":0,"content":"Jungkook was sitting at the corner window of cafeteria, trying to study, flipping his pen in one hand as he absent-mindedly stared out in the ground instead while leaning back on chair and being deep submerged in his thoughts, thinking about what happened previously this morning."},{"id":1001263265,"character_id":22754515,"type":2,"position":1,"content":"Chicken nuggets, chicken nuggets, my tummy waiting, for you nuggets ud83cudfb5"},{"id":1001263266,"character_id":0,"type":1,"position":0,"content":"Felix came by singing and sat beside jungkook keeping the tray of his lunch on table. Jungkook sighed straightening up as soon as he heard felix who looked at him with a wide smile which soon dropped when jungkook didn’t smiled or looked back at him."},{"id":1001263267,"character_id":22754515,"type":2,"position":1,"content":"(Furrows his brows) Yo, what’s with the long face?"},{"id":1001263268,"character_id":22754515,"type":2,"position":1,"content":"Why do you look so dead?"},{"id":1001263269,"character_id":0,"type":1,"position":0,"content":"Felix asked, leaning forward on the desk and folding his arms on it as jungkook finally met his gaze and feebly shook his head as nothing."},{"id":1001263270,"character_id":22754515,"type":2,"position":1,"content":"(Grimaces) What?"},{"id":1001263271,"character_id":22754515,"type":2,"position":1,"content":"Did doggy ate your tongue?"},{"id":1001263272,"character_id":22754514,"type":2,"position":2,"content":"(Lightly sighs and looks at felix)"},{"id":1001263273,"character_id":22754514,"type":2,"position":2,"content":"You mean did cat got my tongue? (Jungkook said correcting him)"},{"id":1001263274,"character_id":22754515,"type":2,"position":1,"content":"(Snorts) No shitt, i know but didn’t used it intentionally, it has gotten old."},{"id":1001263275,"character_id":22754514,"type":2,"position":2,"content":"(Jungkook rolled his eyes and glanced out of the window before looking back at him)"},{"id":1001263276,"character_id":22754515,"type":2,"position":1,"content":"Ugh, whatever."},{"id":1001263277,"character_id":22754515,"type":2,"position":1,"content":"You tell me, why do you look so pale?"},{"id":1001263278,"character_id":22754515,"type":2,"position":1,"content":"Did taehyung hyung pounded you extra hard last night?"},{"id":1001263279,"character_id":0,"type":1,"position":0,"content":"Felix teased grinning as jungkook gave him an uninterested look."},{"id":1001263280,"character_id":22754514,"type":2,"position":2,"content":"Felix."},{"id":1001263281,"character_id":0,"type":1,"position":0,"content":"He warned as felix chuckled and leaned closer to him."},{"id":1001263282,"character_id":22754515,"type":2,"position":1,"content":"Okay, okay. I get it."},{"id":1001263283,"character_id":22754515,"type":2,"position":1,"content":"But atleast tell me, what’s the matter?"},{"id":1001263284,"character_id":0,"type":1,"position":0,"content":"Jungkook weakly leaned back on the chair and folded arms on his chest as he looked out of the window."},{"id":1001263285,"character_id":22754514,"type":2,"position":2,"content":"Nothing, it’s just taehyung."},{"id":1001263286,"character_id":22754515,"type":2,"position":1,"content":"(Frowns knitting his brows) Did he do something?"},{"id":1001263287,"character_id":22754514,"type":2,"position":2,"content":"Nothing specifically."},{"id":1001263288,"character_id":22754515,"type":2,"position":1,"content":"Then what?"},{"id":1001263289,"character_id":22754514,"type":2,"position":2,"content":"It’s just, he always pushes me away."},{"id":1001263290,"character_id":22754514,"type":2,"position":2,"content":"Whenever he looks like something’s troubling him and i want to be there for him, he either tells me to leave or walks away himself."},{"id":1001263291,"character_id":22754514,"type":2,"position":2,"content":"I think he hesitates to tell me things about himself and i just can’t understand why."},{"id":1001263292,"character_id":22754514,"type":2,"position":2,"content":"Not once I’ve ever judged him then why can’t he just open up to me?"},{"id":1001263293,"character_id":22754514,"type":2,"position":2,"content":"Just when everything goes fine, something happens and i feel like I’m not enough, like I’m being pushed away yet i go there again and again despite of being unable to protect him and comfort him."},{"id":1001263294,"character_id":22754514,"type":2,"position":2,"content":"The words which i once used and i thought they comforted him, i start to doubt them, wondering if they ever provided him any true comfort at all."},{"id":1001263295,"character_id":22754514,"type":2,"position":2,"content":"I think he goes through a lot yet he hides it from me, while i sit here helpless."},{"id":1001263296,"character_id":22754514,"type":2,"position":2,"content":"I can’t help but think that I’m not the best for him and maybe i should just leave him on his own but i can’t do that too because i love him so fcking much."},{"id":1001263297,"character_id":0,"type":1,"position":0,"content":"Jungkook said and looked at felix who’s mouth parted in an oh as he gave him an emphatic nod and leaned on the desk, humming."},{"id":1001263298,"character_id":22754515,"type":2,"position":1,"content":"You think you aren’t enough?"},{"id":1001263299,"character_id":22754514,"type":2,"position":2,"content":"Right."},{"id":1001263300,"character_id":22754515,"type":2,"position":1,"content":"But you just said that you love him."},{"id":1001263301,"character_id":22754514,"type":2,"position":2,"content":"Right."},{"id":1001263302,"character_id":22754515,"type":2,"position":1,"content":"That’s enough."},{"id":1001263303,"character_id":0,"type":1,"position":0,"content":"Felix assured as jungkook stared at him, a bit relaxation seeping into his heart."},{"id":1001263304,"character_id":22754514,"type":2,"position":2,"content":"But he hesitates, no matter how much I try i find myself in the same place again and again where he belongs to the different world and i’m just a normal human being."},{"id":1001263305,"character_id":22754514,"type":2,"position":2,"content":"I barely know anything about him and it makes me insecure."},{"id":1001263306,"character_id":22754515,"type":2,"position":1,"content":"Insecurity exists in every relationship, jungkook."},{"id":1001263307,"character_id":22754515,"type":2,"position":1,"content":"Nothing goes perfect as we want it to be."},{"id":1001263308,"character_id":22754515,"type":2,"position":1,"content":"I’m dating hyunjin too, i can’t exactly say that i love him to an infinity but yes I’m falling for him day by day, deeper each day."},{"id":1001263309,"character_id":22754515,"type":2,"position":1,"content":"He’s such a silent guy and barely talks, he has this huge past and have told me about it in few paragraphs."},{"id":1001263310,"character_id":22754515,"type":2,"position":1,"content":"Do you think decades of his life could be depicted in mere words?"},{"id":1001263311,"character_id":22754515,"type":2,"position":1,"content":"Yet i chose not to linger on it, coz what matters to me is the present and I’m happy to be there for him."},{"id":1001263312,"character_id":22754515,"type":2,"position":1,"content":"You can obviously have a different way to think and get insecure because taehyung hyung pushes you away."},{"id":1001263313,"character_id":22754515,"type":2,"position":1,"content":"But that doesn’t mean you should consider your love as insufficient."},{"id":1001263314,"character_id":22754515,"type":2,"position":1,"content":"Don’t measure the depth of your feelings relying on the amount of things you know about him."},{"id":1001263315,"character_id":0,"type":1,"position":0,"content":"Felix completed as jungkook sighed, letting his lips curl into a soft smile, feeling at much ease than before."},{"id":1001263316,"character_id":22754514,"type":2,"position":2,"content":"You’re right, i was just thinking too much, upto the point that i began to doubt my love."},{"id":1001263317,"character_id":22754515,"type":2,"position":1,"content":"It’s fine, we all get lost while figuring things out."},{"id":1001263318,"character_id":22754515,"type":2,"position":1,"content":"Just know that, centuries of his life can’t be unfolded infront of your eyes in an instant. It will take time and your relationship will grow deeper with it if there’s any love which exists in between you two."},{"id":1001263319,"character_id":22754515,"type":2,"position":1,"content":"You just have to be patient and stick with him in his misery and happiness, in the sorrow of his past and bliss of his future, if you really love him and vow to be with him, then you have to go through all of it with him."},{"id":1001263320,"character_id":22754515,"type":2,"position":1,"content":"Remember how you stood courageously infront of jin hyung that day when he pointed out the consequences of loving an immortal?"},{"id":1001263321,"character_id":22754514,"type":2,"position":2,"content":"(Chuckles softly) Yes, i do."},{"id":1001263322,"character_id":22754515,"type":2,"position":1,"content":"(Smiles) Then stand by it."},{"id":1001263323,"character_id":22754515,"type":2,"position":1,"content":"You’re not the one who wavers, are you?"},{"id":1001263324,"character_id":22754514,"type":2,"position":2,"content":"(shakes his head) No."},{"id":1001263325,"character_id":0,"type":1,"position":0,"content":"Jungkook replied and felix smiled."},{"id":1001263326,"character_id":22754515,"type":2,"position":1,"content":"You just have to keep going, don’t feel so disheartened."},{"id":1001263327,"character_id":22754515,"type":2,"position":1,"content":"You’ve got this."},{"id":1001263328,"character_id":0,"type":1,"position":0,"content":"Felix said as he leaned back on the chair and straightened up. Jungkook smiled, happy that he let it all out."},{"id":1001263329,"character_id":22754514,"type":2,"position":2,"content":"(smiles softly) Thanks, felix. I really needed it."},{"id":1001263330,"character_id":22754515,"type":2,"position":1,"content":"Always here for you, bro."},{"id":1001263331,"character_id":0,"type":1,"position":0,"content":"Felix grinned back while pulling his lunch tray closer to himself and picked up a nugget as his smile vanished."},{"id":1001263332,"character_id":22754515,"type":2,"position":1,"content":"(groans) Fck, my nuggets got chilly as ice."},{"id":1001263333,"character_id":22754514,"type":2,"position":2,"content":"(giggles) Sorry."},{"id":1001263334,"character_id":22754515,"type":2,"position":1,"content":"Fcking fck, my stomach was calling out to eat since second lecture."},{"id":1001263335,"character_id":22754515,"type":2,"position":1,"content":"(Felix groaned as he stood up with a tray in his hand)"},{"id":1001263336,"character_id":22754515,"type":2,"position":1,"content":"I’m gonna reheat them and be back, will also bring banana milk for your mad in love u00e0ss."},{"id":1001263337,"character_id":0,"type":1,"position":0,"content":"He casually informed while moving back towards the microwave as jungkook chuckled from behind before concentrating back on his book. That’s right, he shouldn’t think his love as insufficient."},{"id":1001263338,"character_id":0,"type":1,"position":0,"content":"ud83cudf19"},{"id":1001263339,"character_id":0,"type":1,"position":0,"content":"ud83cudf19"},{"id":1001263340,"character_id":0,"type":1,"position":0,"content":"ud83cudf19"}]}